Thursday, August 7, 2014

Thoughts of an Inappropriate Social Moron in Like

When an inappropriate social moron is "in like" with someone special, her imagination runs wild with all the possibilities of the immediate future.  Lots of thoughts, and probably none of them are normal.

Thought 1:  I can’t wait to fall asleep next to him and wake up with my arm completely numb under his warm body.

Thought 2:  Imma load up his bathroom trash can with super plus tampon applicators and he’s gonna love it!

Thought 3:  Next time we’re out and walking, and I trip and fall (over nothing?) he’ll smile warmly and help me up.  He’ll find it so endearing.

Thought 4:  I wonder if he’ll let me pop his back zits?  I really hope he likes to have back zits popped.

Thought 5:  I can’t wait for him to find my earbud-induced, off key mumble singing adorable.

Thought 6:  I really want to make him a sammich and pour him a drink.

Thought 7:  Finding my long, dark, tangly hairs wrapped around everything at his place will remind him how much I….um….love to be wrapped around things.

Thought 8:  Free hugs!

Thought 9:  Maybe, just maybe, this will be my one true love:  a man who appreciates me when I pluck my eyebrows and strategically place the hairs on each of my fingers and saunter up to him, hands extended, saying “Grrrrr!  I’m gonna get you!!!”

Like is a wonderful thing.

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