Solo

I'm pretty sure, a lifetime ago, I was terrified to do things alone. I didn't like to do the grocery shopping by myself. Going out to eat solo? No way! Especially not at a non-fast food type place. I think I was cool with clothes shopping alone...but that's about it.

Now? I loooooove being alone! I think it started with Luke's birth. He was a hard baby. And very attached to me. When I got out of the house, he protested. And I was made to feel guilty about not being home. I'm not exaggerating. If I went to dinner with my sister for two hours? Many phone calls I would receive. He screamed the whole time. I grew to crave my alone time. At that point, I could eat dinner at a "nicer" restaurant on my own. But with a book. And feeling odd about being alone.

Alone time's value increased with Claire's birth. I actually cherished the grocery trip alone. I took my sweet time rolling down the aisles, choosing the most economic item based on unit price. Anytime I was left alone in the house, I savored the quiet moments.

These days, I do tons of stuff by myself and don't think twice about it. I eat solo all the time - no book required. Walk around parks and neighborhoods aimlessly with my camera. Shop, library. Go to the bar alone? No problem. (Until the annoying guy next to you doesn't understand "I do not date. I have three kids." and copious amounts of time with your back turned to him while texting...but that's another story.)

I went to my first concert alone earlier this week. I ordered only one ticket, cause it was all I could afford. I figured if any of my friends wanted to attend, they could buy their own...and it was general admission, so there weren't like seats to consider or anything. It was at a small venue in a very familiar area. I had a great time with myself! I didn't have to make awkward conversation with anyone. And I didn't have to ask "what? huh? please? pardon?" a million times when I was unable to hear my invisible friend over the music/chatter/noise. I mean, I went to listen and be entertained - not to socialize. I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

I even like parenting solo now. I mean, don't get me wrong - for the most part, parenting alongside someone who had like-minded philosophies about child-raising, and who agreed with your routines, ect...didn't suck. I could see if you were constantly battling over how to do stuff...how that would get annoying. I'm not saying I'd like to be a solo parent 100% of the time. I would not like to be the only person to care for my kids. But as things stand, I like doing things my way, since my way is still pretty much the preferred "shared parenting" deal. I look forward to more of the same in the future.

I'm stokedstokedstoked to be alone in my own place, hopefully very soon. Every other week of just "me time"? Hellz yeah!

The rest of the world doesn't seem so keen on the whole solo thing, though. Seems like most places I go, people are coupled or in groups. I'm not sure I noticed anyone else on their own at the concert. Not many tables for one at restaurants. The bar - more singletons there. Wonder why more people don't do things alone? Why are people insecure about being seen alone? Don't get me wrong; I do like socializing. I feel like a retard who says ignorant stuff a lot of times, but that's not something that keeps me away from people. I just like a healthy balance of solo time as well.

Your thoughts? Experiences?