EmEffing Laptop!

[rant enclosed]

Seriously, I like my laptop. It's been very, very good to me.

But I am now about the throw the fuckin' thing out the window! I know it's part of my family, and I should love it regardless, but listen: it's different. It's defective. It's not like all the other little machines. The hole you plug the AC adapter into? Big. Big and loose. Like the hole of a skanky old whore. Or Michelle Duggar. So my cord is always falling out. Which would be ok if my battery wasn't completely dead.

Cord falls out? Power goes bye-bye. Mel gets frustrated and calls her beloved laptop a stupid motherfucker. Not loving, accepting words.

And to top it all off? The 'D' key is set lower than the rest, so you have to hit it a special way.

POS stupid motherfuckin' technology.