This is really bitchy.

So, here's a quick and dirty little thing I put together of the time distribution thing that's going on.  It's recently been suggested that I don't spend much time with the kids.  Check it out.  They sleep 10 hours/night.  I'm at the house from 7:30am - approx. 5:45pm Monday - Friday, except on Wednesday, I'm there until 9pm. Sunday, I hang with them from 2pm - 9pm.

So, they sleep 70 hours/week. They are with me 61 hours/week. And actively with Ex 37 hours/week. Granted, he is at the house while they are sleeping, but with the exception of nighttime illnesses, drinks of water needed, potty emergencies, sleeptime is sleeptime.  Plus, he's sleeping most of that time as well.  And plus, I know a girl who who did all that nighttime madness for how many months? Yeah, so I don't feel badly about that in the least.

So, here's what I think.  I think someone who has taken responsibility for the house and spends a total of 37 active hours with the children each week could possibly clean the downstairs toilet on a semi-regular basis. And the sink/counter area. And the mirror.  It takes 5-10 minutes, depending on how anal you are. (No pun intended)   Maybe, though, that person knows his Ex more than she thinks he does.  Maybe he just knows she'll get sick of looking at the filth and stuff that belongs down the drain and will just get fed up and clean it herself.  Maybe it's preplanned.  Maybe he's conserving energy.  Maybe he'd be right.  Guess who spent 7 minutes cleaning the downstairs bath this morning?

So, more airing of dirty laundry.  My attorney is awaiting my call on whether or not to file for maintenance and child support.  I am serious about getting what I deserve.  Something in me wants to let Exness do the right thing, though.  So I told him he has until tonight to decide if he will provide $xx amount/pay period, no questions asked, no accusations made.  If he does and continues to do so, no motion will be filed.  If not, things will get crappy.  Because I KNOW the court will order him to pay more than I'm asking for.  And I know that will piss him off and make things between us more tense than they already are.  Is it too much to ask for things to go smoothly?  Why do we have to resort to threats and crappiness to achieve what is right?

Also.  This just BURNS ME UP.  (I am sounding a lot like my mom with that!) My daughter's birthday is in two Saturdays.  My Daughter.  Here is what I have learned.  My Ex's girlfriend....we'll call her "Feather"...took Claire to Skyline Saturday - just the two of them - for a special birfday dinner.  AND Feather bought Claire a ton of clothes as bday gifts.  Don't get me wrong, they are cute ass clothes, and she looks adorable in them.  I would have chosen the same styles.  But crap!  She's My Daughter.  Will I be able to afford to spend as much on Claire as Feather?  No.  Will Claire know the difference?  No.  But still.  It's the principle.  WTF?  Am I being replaced?  Get serious!!

I will say, on a completely insecure note, that it really hurts my feelings when the kids constantly ask for their dad.  When Luke and Claire don't get their way, what do they say through their tears?  "I want Dad!"  Ugh.  They ask almost hourly when Dad is coming home.  I wonder if they ask about me when I'm not with them?  Feeling this way makes me feel uber selfish.  Why don't they want MEEE?  Is it because I don't take them out to eat all the time?  Because I don't dole out junkfood, juice, and chocolate milk?  Because I don't rent tons of movies for them?  Sigh...

I'm not proud of this post.