I can be your hero, baby

It was a desperate situation, but someone had to step up and save the day.  Today, that person was me.  The windshield was dirty, riddled with splotches and scum.  It was getting difficult to see the long road before me.  I cranked on the wipers/washer stuff.  The wipers immediately obeyed, but the washer stuff did not jump to the shield.  Instead the washer stuff motor moaned, and the wipers just smeared the scum around, making it even more impossible to navigate through the hard, cold, tough streets of Montgomery.  I sighed and wondered whatever will become of the situation, tightened my grip on the steering wheel, squinted through the filth before me, and somehow made it home.  Safely.  Shaking with fear, I jumped out of the Ninja Van, headed toward the back/fake trunk/hatch area and retrieved the only thing I knew could possibly save us:  The bottle of what looked like Blue Gatorade.  I pulled the hood lever successfully, sprinted to the front of the still-hot beast, pulled up on the hidden under-the-hood lever thingy, and was able to lift the hood.  The innards were exposed - a mess of tubes and square things and containers with round lids. I lifted one of the lids, took a deep breath, and started to pour the Blue Gatorade into the container.  The container, which was bone-dry, seemed to absorb the special fluid.  I think I heard it whisper, "thank you."  One of the troops yelled, "wait, mom!  If you put that in the wrong tube, it will really mess things up!"  But I was confident.  After all, the lid did have a picture of a windshield and wipers on it.  I emptied the Gatorade bottle, snapped the cap back on, slammed down the hood, dusted off my hands, and tossed the plastic bottle into the dumpster.  Again, saving the day.  And the world.