In support of masturbation

No one talks about this stuff, so I will.  Targeting mainly the ladies, since I'm a lady and can only suppose what guys experience...but I think guys can gain a certain amount of knowledge from purusing this list as well.

1.  Masturbating helps you to understand your sexuality.  You explore, find things that make you hum, and kapow!  New knowledge.

2.  Masturbating is good alone time.  You are free to do your thing without expectations and in your own time.  You don't have to worry about how your belly flab looks, if armpit stubble has grown throughout the day, what sorts of faces you may or may not be making, whether your noises are too noisy (or too quiet), etc, etc, etc.

3.  Masturbating helps you have better sexy time with a partner!  You know what feels mighty fine alone, right?  Hey, gently and kindly show your partner what to do.  Verbally, that's fine....but if your partner's a dude, I can almost guarantee he'll dig it most if you demonstrate for him.

4.  Masturbation feels good.  Feeling good is a positive thing.  Go, dopamine!

5.  Masturbation is awesome stress-relief.  An easy, simple, free method of practicing relaxation.  Go, oxytocin and endorphins!

6.  In some cases, masturbation is a fantastic sleep-aid.  No medications required.  All-natural remedy.  

7.  If you use lube, it is a fantastic time to multi-task and moisturize your already-dry pre-Autumn hands.

8.  If you use an electric-powered device, it is a useful way to test electric outlets throughout your home.

9.  If it's been pounded into your brain since childhood that self-love is wrong (which, we intelligent people know, is completely false...in fact self-love is totally natural and healthy) you can take that dirty/deviant feeling and pretend you are risqe and anti-establishment.  You will touch yourself no matter what the man says!

10.  So, it's been noted that masturbation can help to aleviate depression.  But I assume this is the case with very mild forms of depression.  Much like excercise supposedly helps to make people less-depressed.  (Can you tell I'm skeptical on this one?)

11.  Masturbating can help raise your self-esteem.  When you treat yourself well, you generally feel better about yourself.  And when you feel better about yourself, gosh darnit, you feel worthy and project positivity. 

12.  Masturbating can cause others to regard you more positively!  Not saying you should like go into work and start a self-lovin' session or anything.  Not at all.   But, when your self-esteem is high and you're projecting all kinds of competence and self-respect, people tend to treat you as such.  Many people with healthy self-esteem are regarded as valuable....WAY TO GO, MASTURBATION!

13.  I'm going to go on record by saying masturbation is a form of exercise.  Heart rate is elevated, muscle groups are worked, and depending on your masturbatory style, it can be quite an abdominal workout.  If you are a chick and are big on tension orgasms, you know what I'm talkin' about. Also, that orgasm does wonders to strengthen your pelvic floor.  And a strong pelvic floor = a strong mind, right?  Ok, maybe not, but bladder control is pretty rawkin' awesome.

14.  Masturbation has been proven to lower blood pressure and it is said that orgasms and help to reduce swollen nasal vessels.  Ok.  Sure....breathing is a good thing.
15.  Masturbating to orgasm is beneficial if you're working on a girly infection, ladies.  Orgasm helps to flush the old bacteria from your cervix, since that puppy opens a bit during orgasm.  Also, the mucous produced during arousal and orgasm gets pulled into the cervix, allowing for a rise in acidity in cervical fluid...which in turn increases good/friendly bacteria in there.  It's like a happy bacteria exchange, where in the end, you win.  And win.
16.  It's fun.

Have I convinced you yet?  Seriously, get in that bedroom or shower and get to the good-feeling.  Love yourself.  And then report back to me.  ;)