Adventures in Crap

Not a post about poop.

So, I took the day off work today because I had plans with a friend.  Plans got changed, but I stayed home anyway.  Went out to my car late afternoon to find the battery dead.  Because I had left the keys in the ignition...in the auxiliary position.  Dumb girl.  Thanks to a fantastic friend, I now have jumper cables, but didn't know who to ask for a jump.  My neighbor came out to walk her dog, and offered to help me.  First, she pulled (not her) Cadillac up, but we couldn't find the battery!  Seriously!  I think it was hiding under the fuse box thing, cause I could see the positive charge thing, but had no clue where the negative contact bolt-thing was.  So, she parked (not her) Cadillac and pulled her Grand Am next to my ninja van.  The battery was the first thing I saw upon lifting up the hood.  Yay!  I was in the process of connecting positive to positive on my car when another neighbor from the next building bounded over and offered to help us two poor, clueless girls.  "Got everything under control?" he asked.  "I think we're good, thanks" was my reply.  Instead of walking away, he had to come supervise.  I connected positive to positive on my neighbor's car, then after he made sure that I correctly connected negative to negative on the Grand Am, he proceeded to put his penis on my car's negative.  Ok, no, he attempted to connect the negative jumper to my car's negative thing..."NO!" I shouted,  "That needs to go on metal." (dumbass)  Anyway, my neighbor fired up her car, my car started and all was fantastic.  And the male probably thought he saved the day.  THANK GOODNESS FOR MEN.  He advised me to clean my connections or some such stuff and then he walked cockily away.

So, my hands were all dirty from the under-the-hood goings on.  I went back up to my apartment to wash up....and....no water.  I used flushable wipes to clean my hands, and then headed to the Verizon store to finally get a non-car charger.  I have been putting it off, because of the cost, but a charged phone is sort of important.  You know what?  The USB charger I got was only $10.  Seems silly that I waited so long.  Then I bought Subway and wine and came back home.

Still no water.  But I'm burning candles, so it smells lovely in here.  And listening to tunes.  I invited John Roderick to a New Year's Eve party tomorrow night, and he said that he's not in Ohio, which makes it kind of hard... what do I take away from that?  He didn't say no! 

As for the status of my cold, hard heart, it's warming so much that the ice has nearly all melted.  You know what that means, right?  Hello, vulnerability!  Got my feelings hurt last night, but then punched myself in the face and straightened back up. 

Also, I have to share the creepiest thing with you.  One time, I was getting a pedicure and the lady across from me was wearing a black cardigan with what I would describe as "African Plains Animals in Vivid Colors" on it.  Zebras, Elephants, Cockatoos? etc.  I searched Google to find the sweater, since it was definitely share-worthy, but came up empty-handed.  I did, though, find this...which disturbs me greatly:

So, then.  Yep.