More More More!

Well-meaning friends who think they know what's best for me: So Do I!

Cute guy with cute white dog: I see your cigarette...don't try to hide it.

People who smoke cigarettes: I don't think you're bad. Look at me.

Skyline Chili: I want more of your crackers.

Cute boys who pay attention to me: keep up the good work.

Tuesday: please be more inspiring than Monday.

Finger: move when the door closes next time. It closes hard. Dumbass.

Clean sheets and quilt: Go into my bedroom an situate yourselves properly on my bed. Thanks.

Want a vegetarian taco: take one whole wheat tortilla. Add sour cream. And super-hot salsa. And shredded sharp cheddar. Roll it up. Eat. (I'm not vegetarian...just poor and too lazy to cook chicken.)

Pinot Grigio: stop tasting so good. Or don't.

Girl in McAlpins Parking Lot Who Said To Me 14 Years Ago, "Fuck you if you don't like my shoes": Your shoes were hideous. Why do you think I was staring at them? Also, thanks for the entertainment and the memories.

Those Who Are Wondering: yes, indeed, I am eating a vegetarian taco as I type.

And: yes, I am drinking the last of the Pinot Grigio.

People who'd like to finance my wardrobe: I need more skirts.

People who'd like to finance my CD collection: I need Franz Ferdinand.

People who care about the beautification of my apartment: I need paint!

People who care about my Tuesday: send productive vibes!

People who care about my toenails: recommend a nail shop near my home or work. Not Walmart. Asian-owned or operated, please. Seriously...they do the best work.

To Who Care: I am going to have a bowl of shredded sharp cheddar for dessert. Cause that's how I roll.