from my archives

I really miss him.

Rain Today
Originally posted 11/30/2004

It's funny how you deal with things when a parent dies. It's horrible and all, but when he dies, you go through the motions....do the visitation and funeral thing...make arrangements....receive condolences...try to make other mourners feel better....and then life carries on. You think about him a lot. You remember funny moments, goofy things he always said, you even remember the not-so-fond things he did that really got on your nerves. Then one day, a little more than a month later, you get an email from a former co-worker saying that her daughter is now walking. This makes you remember the time when your son started walking big time. Cameron took his first steps in September, but really started walking with confidence and purpose the week before Dad died. I'll always remember that week...the second to last week in October. You think, "it's really sad that I'll associate that milestone with something so sad and tragic." So you get to thinking about your lost parent and you feel really down. It's raining outside, like all day. You go out to run errands with your bubbly son and watch as a funeral procession drives past - car after car with their headlights on, funeral home flags on the windows, sad faces at the steering wheels. Then, right there on Dixie Highway, you start to cry. It's funny how it hits you. Your heart is heavy with sorrow tonight and you wonder if you've opened up some kind of floodgate of feelings now. Did you break the seal? Is this how you're going to feel every day from now on? Or is this just a one-time occurrence, or maybe an every-once-in-a-while deal? I guess we'll see what tomorrow brings.
- Posted @ 11/30/2004 8:57:22 PM