Don't call it a comeback.

Today, some Easter randomness.

Here's a shocker to all who know me in the least bit: I do not participate in religion. I try not to label myself, but I guess I'm a Free Thinker? Humanist? For some reason, which I'd like to explore at a later time, I don't call myself an Atheist. I need to figure out why the term makes me feel this way, but it seems to undermine the beliefs of others. Like, saying I'm an Atheist feels like I'm forcing the fact that I don't think a god exists on those who do believe in a higher deity. It's as if I'm denying others the right to believe what they believe. I, Melanie, do not have a personal god. I don't choose to dwell on that, though. Anyway. I'm sure that was a mess. I need to delve into my thought process on that stuff in the future.

So, no church for me today. No family celebration, either. Not that I mind family celebrations all that much. The timing just doesn't work out with kid exchange and all. Admittedly, I'm relieved not to be visiting my dad's family today. I've been thinking about Dad a lot lately. First, I've needed some advice, and I know I could have turned to Dad for straight up/no-nonsense advice. I miss that. Second, I have a friend whose dad is terminally ill, which sucks, and that reminds me of Dad. Not that he was terminally ill, but that the end is a bitch. And, seeing my dad's family - duh - reminds me of my dad big time. My uncle Frank looks a whole lot like my dad, and it's kind of unsettling to me. Yeah, so. I just cried about it. Emotions.

I did use my Special Easter Alone Time to clean some glass. Yep, I'm sure you're all dying to hear about my unsolicited free sample of glass cleaner, right? I tried it out earlier. The stuff is called Sprayway World's Best Glass Cleaner. It's ammonia free and claims to be streakless. It comes in an aerosol can, but has no CFCs. You're not supposed to put it in your eyes, on your skin, or in your mouth, and you certainly should not inhale it. It may be CFC-free, but it does contain LIQUEFIED PETROLEUM GAS. So. I used the liquefied petrol on all of my windows downstairs, as well as the mirror in the 1/2 bath. It does not streak on the windows. It cleans just fine. If there is something gooped on the glass, though, it takes extra elbow grease to remove. It does nothing to aid in princess sticker removal from playroom windows. On the bathroom mirror, it pretty much sucked. It streaked. Did not remove whatever the white splatter spots were on it without vigorous wiping. It performed best on the outside of the windows, where the dirty scum of nature resided. It smells very nice. Would I buy it? Nope. I actually think vinegar works better. And I'm sure is cheaper. Although doesn't smell as pleasing. Would I be cleaning my windows on Easter if it weren't for this free sample? I'm going with "no," so I will give Sprayway snaps for encouraging my lazy azz to do some Spring cleaning.

I've been eating some beans of sugar/corn syrup/starch, thanks to Mom. Thanks a.whole.lot.mom. I will not rest until the entire bag is gone. Stupid damn things. Anyway, here is my take on jellybeans, listed in order from favorite to least:

yellow (nummers)
white
green
pink
orange
black
purple (blech)

Notice I didn't describe flavors. It's not like they're real food, and they actually taste like colors to me.

And, here's the reason driving a minivan is cool for me. I never get pulled over for speeding in the van. Ever. I usually speed. I can't seem to go slowly. Don't know what my problem is, other than running late a lot. Even when I'm on time, I speed. Anyway. When do I get pulled over for speeding? When I'm in ****'* car. Always. Stupid little black compact. Happily, we haven't been exchanging vehicles as much as we did in the past. There have been times, though, like when my car was at the mechanic or when certain exes felt the van would be easier/safer for the kids on a trip to the coun-tray on Easter. Whatev, don't care. Just switch me keys. Except. Cops totally pay attention to little black cars. I think my minivan might have super powers of invisbleness. Got pulled over on my way to my sister's yesterday. Goin' a little fast up that hill, ma'am. (Fuck you, don't call me ma'am, Officer.) I got a warning, and he was a nice guy. Oh, and I had *just* come from exchanging my van for the little cop magnet. What a crapper.

Happy Easter, whatever that means to you. Happy Sunday. Happy Spring. Happy, happy, happy.