Okay, let's see. I'm a little disillusioned, disenchanted, disappointed today. I think that I trust others too much. I have the tendency to expect the best from people, or to maybe overlook potentially unsavory behaviors and focus on the good things. That sounds like a good way to be, ideally. But I'm pretty sure idealism will get you nowhere. A couple of things have happened or maybe happened in the past 24 or so that either baffle me or just make me plain livid. I'm all bummed about these things, and it's really weighing on me. Rather than focus on the "things," I think I should examine why I'm so affected.
For whatever reason, it really hurts me when others deceive me. Or betray my trust. Or use me to play a game, or possibly stir up mischief. It hurts because I try to live my life free of that bullshit. To me, it's just a waste. Why am I so shocked and surprised at the actions of others? I don't think I'm a very naive person, and I certainly don't think the world is perfect or that people have good intentions all the time. In general. But when something specific happens, I always get smacked in the face with it. WTH is wrong with me? I don't understand. I feel like my judgment is skewed and that really leaves me feeling unsettled.
I'm not doing a stellar job at this examination, am I? More like a spew of thoughts. Perhaps it's what I need to get it off my chest. Purge it from my system. Wise friend just told me, "People suck. It's the rule, not the exception." Do I want to go through life with this in the back of my head? I don't know. I don't want to expect the worst of people. I just think I need to balance my thinking more...not expect the best from people....not expect the worst, either. I just need to not be so flattened when they do suck. So, how do I change my outlook? Where's my answer?
2 comments:
Wise friend is right. I've learned to just think about the events that had to occur in an asshole's life to turn them into such a pain. I genuinely, sincerely feel sorry for them. To me, life is just a big study in anthropology. When you don't expect much, you're not surprised at the ugly and pleasantly surprised at the good.
I have learned that expectations are only the invitation for disappoinment. So, I expect pretty close to nothing and have found that people are much more enjoyable because of this. Also, don't take things personally- if someone has let you down, it's not because of YOU. It's about them- their issues, their life, their history. Just keep putting your good out there, and you'll start to see more good coming back at you. Love you!
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