Monday, June 26, 2006
Mister I'm-Almost-Three
Cameron
1. gets mad when I put my hair in a ponytail
2. is using the word "well" an awful lot lately. "Well, ok." "Well, thank you."
3. loves cookies
4. loves nectarines
5. is starting to care about what he wears
6. likes to walk around outside barefoot (hillbilly in the making)
7. fake cries while in time-out
8. is in love with our next door neighbors' daughter. She is 17!
9. asks for lunch at 8pm
10. has taken to saying, "please, please, please, please, please??!!!" when he really wants something. "Mom, Dad, Cam, Baby Lukey, Amy go to Target, please, please, please, please, please??!!! That'd be good, ok?"
1. gets mad when I put my hair in a ponytail
2. is using the word "well" an awful lot lately. "Well, ok." "Well, thank you."
3. loves cookies
4. loves nectarines
5. is starting to care about what he wears
6. likes to walk around outside barefoot (hillbilly in the making)
7. fake cries while in time-out
8. is in love with our next door neighbors' daughter. She is 17!
9. asks for lunch at 8pm
10. has taken to saying, "please, please, please, please, please??!!!" when he really wants something. "Mom, Dad, Cam, Baby Lukey, Amy go to Target, please, please, please, please, please??!!! That'd be good, ok?"
Thursday, June 22, 2006
Breaking point came
Oh man. I just called the police on my neighbor. I'm just sick of the fucking blaring music all night and day. He just had the radio of his truck blasting for a half hour. The truck was just sitting in the driveway. I don't even know where he was. Maybe in his garage. Anyway, basically, I was calling the police to see what the noise ordinances are and basically, any loud music or engine, any time of the day, is not allowed. The officer I spoke to said they would come out and talk to him about turning his music down and I would remain anonymous as a complaintant. But, wouldn't you know, he just got in his truck and left.
I guess I'll look like a total idiot when the police show up at his house. Anyway. I wish I weren't such a wimp! Now I feel bad about calling. Now I'm all nervous. Ugh!
I guess I'll look like a total idiot when the police show up at his house. Anyway. I wish I weren't such a wimp! Now I feel bad about calling. Now I'm all nervous. Ugh!
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Why tv time should be limited
What sucks worse than The Doodlebops? What bites more than
Caillou? Than Lazy Town?
DRAGON TALES! I freaking hate this show. And my aunt got Cameron four Dragon Tales videos...and he wants to watch them all the time. The kids are so dumb and annoying and ugly (yes, I'm mean) and the dragons are goofy and have totally obnoxious voices. I just don't get the appeal. OK.
Caillou? Than Lazy Town?
DRAGON TALES! I freaking hate this show. And my aunt got Cameron four Dragon Tales videos...and he wants to watch them all the time. The kids are so dumb and annoying and ugly (yes, I'm mean) and the dragons are goofy and have totally obnoxious voices. I just don't get the appeal. OK.
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Goings On
So, my sister is home! We're so happy to have her back. I went house-hunting with her all day Saturday, and man, was that exhausting. They are making an offer on a house today. I hope they get it!
BNL released their first single from their new album, Barenaked Ladies Are Me, yesterday. It's called "Easy" and I really likey. It's kind of not new to me, which is why I'm kind of focusing on the 'B-side', called "Wind it Up." It's rawkin'. So, if you have an extra 99 cents floating around, go to itunes and download it.
I'm almost finished with Christopher Moore's Fluke. It is bizarre, but I expect nothing less from Christopher Moore. BTW, if anyone wants to borrow any of the books from my 2006 Book List, just let me know (well, beside The Nanny Diaries - I had borrowed that). I'm going to start cataloging all of the books we own later this summer, and I'll link a page with all of the titles.
We are busy planning Cameron's 3rd birthday party. He chose a Chicken Little theme. Our bakery, of course, didn't have a CL cake design, so we just ordered a plain one. I bought some items on eBay to "decorate" the cake with. Hope it looks good! They are just figures to place on top of the cake. I've still got quite a bit to do. I need to get some more things for the favor bags, and the actual bags themselves. I also need to find a place that has CL mylar balloons. I've got some CL plates and napkins, but I still need to get other partyware, like dinner plates, forks, spoons, cups.... I also need to make some decorations and some kind of acorn thingies for an acorn hunt game. Oh, and house cleaning, grocery shopping, you know stuff like that. The party is in less than two weeks!
Cam just grabbed Hank's "snout" and gave him a kiss and said, "remember, Hanker, no barking or crying. Good boy."
BNL released their first single from their new album, Barenaked Ladies Are Me, yesterday. It's called "Easy" and I really likey. It's kind of not new to me, which is why I'm kind of focusing on the 'B-side', called "Wind it Up." It's rawkin'. So, if you have an extra 99 cents floating around, go to itunes and download it.
I'm almost finished with Christopher Moore's Fluke. It is bizarre, but I expect nothing less from Christopher Moore. BTW, if anyone wants to borrow any of the books from my 2006 Book List, just let me know (well, beside The Nanny Diaries - I had borrowed that). I'm going to start cataloging all of the books we own later this summer, and I'll link a page with all of the titles.
We are busy planning Cameron's 3rd birthday party. He chose a Chicken Little theme. Our bakery, of course, didn't have a CL cake design, so we just ordered a plain one. I bought some items on eBay to "decorate" the cake with. Hope it looks good! They are just figures to place on top of the cake. I've still got quite a bit to do. I need to get some more things for the favor bags, and the actual bags themselves. I also need to find a place that has CL mylar balloons. I've got some CL plates and napkins, but I still need to get other partyware, like dinner plates, forks, spoons, cups.... I also need to make some decorations and some kind of acorn thingies for an acorn hunt game. Oh, and house cleaning, grocery shopping, you know stuff like that. The party is in less than two weeks!
Cam just grabbed Hank's "snout" and gave him a kiss and said, "remember, Hanker, no barking or crying. Good boy."
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
grooming
So, in other news, Luke stuck his finger in my nose earlier, pulled it out, and guess what? He got some buggers.
Monday, June 12, 2006
Not funny. Not sarcastic. Just pathetic.
Maybe I'll write this and not post it. I am not doing so great lately. I completely SUCK at being a mother. I'm impatient, I get angry too easily, I don't want to sit on the floor and play cars, I want to sit in a chair and read or watch Oprah in peace. I'm tired of the fits, the crying for no apparent reason, the screaming, the nasty "no's", bribing my kid to eat/go potty/put dirty laundry in a basket. I hate that the best part of my day is naptime, so I can be alone and do what I want. It makes me mad that Cam is afraid of the vacuum and doesn't want to get water/shampoo in his eyes, even though we know it's "tearless" shampoo, and that he won't keep his finger out of his mouth. I get so mad when Cam won't listen, when he does the exact opposite of what I say, and with a grin on his face. I hate that our house is always a mess, even though it's a lot my fault. I hate that when I do clean up, it's a disaster only moments later. There is dog hair everywhere. I'm sick and tired of cleaning the kitchen and dining room 1.5 million times a day, of loading and unloading the dishwasher, of the stupid dog hair tumbleweeds that rustle around me when I walk through the kitchen. But everyone goes through this, you might think, and they don't bitch and complain - they just deal with it. Why does it have to be an issue for me? Is there something wrong with me? Am I depressed? Am I normal? Do I just have a bad attitude? When both kids are screaming, I just want to yell, "will you just shut the hell up! What is wrong with you! What is wrong with me!"
Saturday, June 10, 2006
This one's for Shawney
I am so irritated that I'm sure my PERIOD's going to start soon.
Speaking of VAGINAS, BIKINI WAXING isn't just for women anymore. Apparently, lots of guys are into "hair care DOWN THERE" and choose to snip, clip, strip (or mow) their PUBES. I'm sorry, but when it comes to PUBES, (aka BUSH, MUFF and CURLIES, according to Wikipedia, where, if you search on PUBIC HAIR, you will find alarmingly grotesque photos of both men and women) I say, let things be (mostly) as nature intended. I mean, who wants to SLEEP WITH a 10-year-old? OK, sure, ladies - trim it up if you like, but guys? Maybe I'm closed-minded, but I think MANSCAPING is just not something I dig. I mean, HAIRY = MANLY, right?
When you have a baby, you learn to POOP really fast. But sometimes, it's hard to POOP quickly, like when you have ED (explosive DIARRHEA) or when the HEMORRHOIDS (which you have from being PREGNANT and carrying around all that baby weight, and then just from being fat and carrying around all that chocolate weight) FLARE UP and make it painful to POOP. Then it takes quite a while to POOP and you have to sit on the TOILET for a long time.
OK, Lord, I can't believe I'm going to post this. Really, it's intended to be a joke for my brother-in-law, who LOVES IT when I talk inappropriately. :)
Speaking of VAGINAS, BIKINI WAXING isn't just for women anymore. Apparently, lots of guys are into "hair care DOWN THERE" and choose to snip, clip, strip (or mow) their PUBES. I'm sorry, but when it comes to PUBES, (aka BUSH, MUFF and CURLIES, according to Wikipedia, where, if you search on PUBIC HAIR, you will find alarmingly grotesque photos of both men and women) I say, let things be (mostly) as nature intended. I mean, who wants to SLEEP WITH a 10-year-old? OK, sure, ladies - trim it up if you like, but guys? Maybe I'm closed-minded, but I think MANSCAPING is just not something I dig. I mean, HAIRY = MANLY, right?
When you have a baby, you learn to POOP really fast. But sometimes, it's hard to POOP quickly, like when you have ED (explosive DIARRHEA) or when the HEMORRHOIDS (which you have from being PREGNANT and carrying around all that baby weight, and then just from being fat and carrying around all that chocolate weight) FLARE UP and make it painful to POOP. Then it takes quite a while to POOP and you have to sit on the TOILET for a long time.
OK, Lord, I can't believe I'm going to post this. Really, it's intended to be a joke for my brother-in-law, who LOVES IT when I talk inappropriately. :)
Friday, June 9, 2006
Pass the sedatives
Sometimes it's really hard to be me...
Kid A is screaming because he doesn't want to get his diaper changed and jammies on
Kid B is crying because Kid A is crying and because Mommy can't pay total attention to him instantly (that Mommy's hip he's clinging to)
Kid A is screaming because he doesn't want to get his diaper changed and jammies on
Kid B is crying because Kid A is crying and because Mommy can't pay total attention to him instantly (that Mommy's hip he's clinging to)
Monday, June 5, 2006
Of all the things...
Oh my God, Garth Brooks, get the fuck out of my head! I don't care that you have friends in low places, you ugly outfit-wielding, stupid hat-wearing freak! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHHHHHHHHHHH!
Help?
Help?
Friday, June 2, 2006
Good nails, Bad head
I got a manicure last night. That took care of the remaining balance on my gift card. I never get manicures. Well, I've had a handful in the past, but it's not something I do regularly. I really should, though, because my fingers look so. much. better. And I got a paraffin hand treatment, where they dip your hands in wax several times and then stick baggies and oven mitts (ok, not exactly baggies and oven mitts, but you get the idea) on your hands to lock in the moisture. My hands totally feel less dry today. I usually have the most disgusting, dry, old lady hands, so this is a big deal for me. My cuticles and nails look so good. But. I hate getting manicures. They hurt! I must have sensitive fingers or something, because the cuticle-pushing and cutting kills me! I don't even seem to notice when she does my toenails, though, so I guess they aren't sensitive at all. And just the "scraping" feeling of the cuticle pusher instrument on my nail - that's creepy. Ick. Maybe it gets better once you get used to it? I don't know. All I know is, my fingers look GOOD!
Ugh, it's raining today and I have a pounding headache. I don't get many headaches and I'm such a baby when I do get them. I just want to hide under the covers all day. But I really need to get this place cleaned up, so I'm off to pop some Advil, suck it up and get workin'.
Happy weekend!
Oh, and just so you know:
Ugh, it's raining today and I have a pounding headache. I don't get many headaches and I'm such a baby when I do get them. I just want to hide under the covers all day. But I really need to get this place cleaned up, so I'm off to pop some Advil, suck it up and get workin'.
Happy weekend!
Oh, and just so you know:
I am 14% White Trash.
I, my friend, have class. I am so not white trash. . I am more than likely Democrat, and my place is neat, and there is a good chance I may never drink wine from a box. Thursday, June 1, 2006
TMI all over the place
You know what really sucks? When you get a shower first thing in the morning because your baby is still sleeping and you're all nice and clean and ready to start the day right and then, not two hours later, you have massive, explosive diarrhea, hence ruining your perfectly fresh and clean state of being.
You know what else sucks? When your baby is sitting in the hallway, watching you have massive, explosive diarrhea, screaming his head off because he wants you to hold him and he's overtired and ready to eat and take a nap. And the massive, explosive diarrhea goes on and on and it takes forever for your body to finally decide it's done with the torture.
That really sucks. Well, actually, it blows.
You know what else sucks? When your baby is sitting in the hallway, watching you have massive, explosive diarrhea, screaming his head off because he wants you to hold him and he's overtired and ready to eat and take a nap. And the massive, explosive diarrhea goes on and on and it takes forever for your body to finally decide it's done with the torture.
That really sucks. Well, actually, it blows.
