Random, as per.

It turns out, my computer isn't a bad computer. My $80 Best Buy craptastic ac adapter/cord is to blame. My battery isn't shot...the cord is just junk. B loaned me one of his, and it charged up my laptop just fine. In fact, I'm typing away outside, cordless and free. I'm sorry, Laptop, for dissing you. You are a fine laptop and I care for you deeply. I apparently just love to waste money. And, B's cord fits in your halfway normal hole much better. Not saying your hole is a-ok. Just that it's not as gaping as I led others to believe. I do apologize.

Work is going well. I feel nice and trained. And my trainer feels even more confident about me. See, I'm not a dumb unemployable reject! Yay! I'll be on my own starting next week. And my normal shift of 10am-7pm starts the following week. Not that I don't love coming in at 7am and leaving at 4pm. I actually do. But I'll take what I can get. And get used to it.

There is one guy at work that blows his nose a lot. And it sounds very....comical. Loud and reverberating. Ha. Entertainment. That's ok, cause I talk to myself the whole time I'm working. Not comical at all, right?

So, work is a good thing. The rest of life? Not so much. I'm pretty low, with little moments of even and other little moments of happy. When I'm low, I tend to gravitate toward depressing, dark tunes. My over and over at the moment: Black and Blue by Counting Crows. Don't knock the Crows. I like that mellow shit occasionally.

Fading everything to black and blue
You look a lot like you
Shatter in the blink of an eye
You keep sailing right on through
Every time you say you're learning
You just look a lot like me
Pale under the blistering sky
White and red
Black and blue

You've been waiting a long time
You've been waiting a long time
To fall down on your knees
Cut your hands
Cut yourself until you bleed
Fall asleep next to me

Wait for everyone to go away
And in a dimly lit
room where you've got nothing to hide
Say your goodbyes
Tell yourself we'll read
a note that says
"I'm sorry everyone
I'm tired of feeling nothing goodbye"

Wash your face
Dry your eyes
Cause you've been waiting a long time
You've been waiting a long long time
To fall down on your knees
Cut your hands
Cut yourself until you bleed
But fall asleep next to me
Have a dream I'm falling down
On my face
Scrape my knees
Scrape my hands until they bleed
Cause you're fast asleep next to me

But also, a song that keeps popping up on my iPod lately?  Portions For Foxes by Rilo Kiley.  

There's blood in my mouth 'cause I've been biting my tongue all week
I keep on talkin' trash but I never say anything
And the talkin' leads to touchin'
and the touchin' leads to sex
and then there is no mystery left

And It's bad news
Baby I'm bad news
I'm just bad news, bad news, bad news

I know I'm alone if I'm with or without you
but just bein' around you offers me another form of relief
When the loneliness leads to bad dreams
and the bad dreams lead me to callin' you
and I call you and say "C'MERE!"

And it's bad news
Baby I'm bad news
I'm just bad news, bad news, bad news

And it's bad news
Baby it's bad news
It's just bad news, bad news, bad news

'Cause you're just damage control
for a walking corpse like me - like you

'Cause we'll all be
Portions for foxes
Yeah we'll all be
Portions for foxes

There's a pretty young thing in front of you
and she's real pretty and she's real into you
and then she's sleepin' inside of you
and the talkin' leads to touchin'
then touchin' leads to sex
and then there is no mystery left

And it's bad news
I don't blame you
I do the same thing
I get lonely too

And you're bad news
My friends tell me to leave you
That you're bad news, bad news, bad news

That you're bad news
Baby you're bad news
and you're bad news
Baby you're bad news
and you're bad news
I don't care I like you
and you're bad news
I don't care I like you
I like you

So there you have it.  Also, I'd recommend both songs to you.