Why write?

"Smelz, what's your head saying?"
"It's saying: I ain't got nothin'.  I don't have a purpose."
"Maybe your purpose is to affect people by your writing."
"Humph. I can't even do that - write.  It's just not there."

So last night, when I got home, I was determined to just start writing.  I've been lacking inspiration...well, that's not true...there have been a few topix I have been mulling over...but I've been just lacking the drive/desire/the whatever to arrange the thoughts collectively into words and sentences and such.  I had no clue what would come out last night.  I just started saying stuff, and remembering stuff, and thinking about stuff, and typing like a crazy girl.

I've gotta have something I can feel good about.  Someplace I can come to and be honest.  An outlet, for certain.  An arena to express my (creativity?) (angst?) (fears?) (emotions?) (inner self?).  Not sure why I'm so compelled to share so much, really.  It's kind of weird and narcissistic.  Oh the well!  It is what it is.

Today, I am crazy-tired.  I could not sleep last night.  I know it was after 2am when I got to sleep, and I know I snoozed my alarm at least 3x this morning.  I think I drifted off a couple of times on the couch today while we were watching a superhero dvd.  I'm pretty sure if I close my eyes now, I could do the same.  I'm afraid if I let myself do that, I might sleep for hours and hours.  At this point, I don't know how much sleep it'll take to heal myself.

I have the kids overnight tonight...for the first time at the B&B.  The owners will be out of town, so it'll be just us and the dogs and cats.  I really hope the kids sleep well there.  I think I'm gonna take them out for dinner tonight.  I was thinking pizza, since we can do that on the cheap, but I just found out they had pizza last night for dinner. Grrr.  Maybe we'll do Skyline?  Yummmmmm.

Also, I had sushi for the first time last weekend.  Tomorrow night, I am doing the all-you-can-eat sushi bar!  I'm going to be eating the real, the strange, the crazy stuff!  New experiences are good things.

I think I'm going to throw some clothes in the washer and sit with my eyes closed for a few.  Days.  Ha.  I wish.  Happy Friday, Friends.