(can't shut up today)
This, that. These, those. And If, else, thrown in for good measure.
I think my bean had extra caffeine in it today. Got lots to say.
This: The job I interviewed for at former parent company is still posted. Cross your fingers.
That: I'm gonna start looking for retail work. I know. Lame. But it will get me doing something. Fill the void. Earning some change. Starting some change. Adding a line to my resume.
If: I need to get a job and get my shit together soon.
Else: I will slit my wrists.
This: I want to do something I can be proud of today.
That: Not sure yet what that will be.
This: We really rock out the ABC song around here. We sing it old skool, heavy metal, and even reggae style.
That: My kids can actually dance, and I have NO EARTHLY CLUE whence that gene originated.
This: Not sure why, but I feel so at peace today. Happy, even.
That: Life is such crap. No job, no home, kids prefer their dad over me. I just know things are going to start looking up soon.
These: Sometimes I wish I could organize my ideas more efficiently.
Those: I like that there's a bit of chaos in my mind, though. Keeps me from being so damn plain all the time.
This: Monster is recommending the best job titles for me lately. FINITE PLANNER. (how fun and rewarding to arrange for the end!) EPIC CLINICAL ANALYST. (I can be poetic in my work; alternatively, it just might be a huge ass undertaking. Or maybe they're looking for a huge ass analyst?)
That: I used to have the stupidest title of all time: Information Analyst. I analyzed...the information.
These: I have pretty big feelings of social inferiority. I say dumb things, sometimes when I talk, spit escapes my mouth, I'm clumsy, sometimes I don't pick up on subtle cues.
Those: I met a lot of nice people Saturday night and had what I think were halfway intelligent/thoughtful conversations with them and they didn't *seem* to be freaked out by my lack of grace and awkwardness. Which makes me wonder if I'm masking my retardation well, if they were just being nice, or if I'm just too hard on myself?
2 comments:
You my friend, are way too hard on yourself. ((hugs))
I don't think you're awkward at all. You're probably just overly concerned about how others see you. My guess is they're too occupied worrying about their own awkwardness to even notice you. ;-)
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