Things seem to be backed up

You know the people who always make excuses...the ones who say, "I'd like to do that, but....blah blah blah I can't. Save it for another day."

Those people are so annoying. Those people are me, apparently. Slow Saturday to start, got up, woke up Ms. Unemployed, asking, "Hey, didn't you say you were leaving for Gpa M's early this morning?" Received a groggy, "What? 2 or 3 o'clock. Wait, I didn't even get to sleep."  "Oh," I said, "I thought you said early." Then I hear the shower start, and then the frantic rush to get out the door. Guess I was right.

After coffee and earning a wee bit of $ participating in studies about democracy, marketing, racism, and the like, I cut up some fruit, because I like to do things for L and Mike. Guess the fruit wasn't very filling, because then Mike made biscuits and gravy and eggs. Not saying I didn't love it!

Because I like comfort, apparently, I washed my sheets. Had to wait until the standing water in the utility sink went down before I could wash my quilt, but that's ok because putting sheets on the bed and pillow cases on the pillows apparently takes time because it requires several breaks to play word games on the phone. It really wears you out.

Quilt in dryer, Mike does the dishes. Hey guess what? Somehow the pipe from the kitchen sink is connected to the pipe that leads to the utility sink in the laundry room? Is that normal? Anyway, the utility sink overflowed. It is still dripping. 

So, now I have to wait even longer to wash the towels. Some of the towels are resting atop the vacuum, because why wouldn't they be? So now I can't empty the dirt from the vacuum because the towels are still on it. Can't wash the towels and can't vacuum my room. 

I'd like to do that, but...save it for another day. Or maybe later, if the standing water in the sink ever goes down.

It's a Sunday

It's a Sunday.

I woke up and looked at my phone and it was 7-something. That made me happy, happy that it was still early enough to get some more sleep. Because it's a Sunday. I think I slept a little, in and out. Got out of bed at 8-something. Didn't make me mad, because I wasn't too tired and staying in bed past 8am is a goal for the weekend. 

Of course no one else was awake or up, so I went about my business in the quiet. Water, coffee, writing a housing contract for my school-less, jobless, license-less 20 year old. You know, Sunday stuff. 

Re-starting and moving over laundry loads that I didn't start, to make room for mine. Reading my former brother-in-law's blog that I forgot about years ago, but recently discovered again when I rediscovered my own.

After my clothes dry, I'm going to Kohl's (not JC Penney, because they closed it a while ago. of course they did, because that's where I could find clothes that semi suited me and semi fit me) to buy a pair of shorts that hopefully fit. Need bottoms that aren't work pants that fit because we're going to my sister's this afternoon and I don't want to wear work pants. 

Most everyone is driving separately to my sister's. Bear hasn't lived with me in over a month because she has reasons. She's is driving to A's after work. LJ may have plans with his girlfriend after. Mike has a meeting after and doesn't want to be late. N may ride with me, but I bet she rides with Mike. 

The living situation has been a full time Me, Mike, N, and LJ. I don't think LJ and his dad have talked in over a month. It's weird without Bear, but kids of this age should have the choice, right? I think they should.

Anyway, it's a Sunday and I think my clothes are likely close to dry enough for me to shower and get out of here and head to Kohl's for dream shorts.

Journey

So, I don't know what happened, but I got fat.  Really fat.  Like beyond post-having a kid fat (almost).  About a week and a half ago, I staretd to go low-carb.  And I've really been sticking to it....minus a slip up or two.

I messed up really bad last night.  In a midnight stupor, I ate a whole container of macaroni salad.  Which I didn't buy...my other half bought it for me because I love it, not even thinking about my diet.  I can't fault him.  He was trying to make me happy...just not on the level I am.  

So, big point of this post.  I was thinking I'd just measure my accomplishments based on how my clothes fit/which size I'm in.  I have avoided the scale for like a year now.

Fast forward.  I weighed myself tonight.  Are you ready?

205.

Now it's a number.

I've always felt good at 165, as a mature adult.  I look good at 165.

So now I have accountability.  I'm continuing the low carb-diet, despite my slip-up.  My goal is to lose 20 pounds by Christmas.  Who knows what my weight was when I started a week and a half ago.  Who cares.  This is what I am now.

I vow to be better.  To feel better.  To look better.  To feel comfortable in clothing.

I'm ready...it's on!  I'll report back on this topic in a week, good or bad.  But I really feel it's going to be good! :)

What I made for dinner 04/27/2016 - A success story!

Got this recipe from a site I like to stalk quite a bit, Damn Delicious.

One Pot Andoulle Sausage Skillet, modified to One Pot Smoked Sausage and Chicken Skillet, because I wanted to use what we had on hand.  See, Luke had soccer practice 5:30 - 6:30, and I was under the impression that I was taking him.  But since the ex and I have a hard time with communication (I am being very nice here by including myself in that bit), I learned that, in fact, the ex had planned to take him...or the ex's wife, whatever.  Top that with the fact that Claire had soccer pictures at 7:30, or thereabouts.  Anyway, I wanted something quick that either Mike or I could fix and I didn't want either of us to have to stop at the store for ingredients.

Chungah's recipe can be found here.  Nothing at all against her recipe, I just modified to use what we had on hand.  My recipe:

One Pot Smoked Sausage and Chicken Skillet

Ingredients:

1 tbsp olive oil
2+ cloves garlic, minced
1 onion, diced
1/2 package smoked sausage (the kind that comes with 2 large links, but you may have used the other link previously)
1 package Tyson's Bagged and Ready Grilled Chicken Breast Strips
2+ cups reduced sodium chicken broth/stock/whatever you may call it
1 14.5 oz can diced tomatoes
1/2+ cup milk
10 oz elbow pasta
Sal y pimienta (en Espanol!)
1+ cup sharp cheddar and a scattering of parmesan cheese
Cayenne pepper

Instructions:

Heat olive oil in large skillet over medium high heat.  Add garlic, onion, sausage, and chicken.  Cook, stirring frequently, until sausage and chicken are warmed, about 6 - 7 minutes.

Stir in chicken broth, tomatoes, milk and pasta. Season with salt and pepper.  Bring to a boil, cover, and reduce heat.  Simmer until pasta is cooked through, about 14 minutes.  Remove from heat and top with cheese and a healthy amount of cayenne pepper.  Cover until cheese has melted, about 2 - 3 minutes.  SERVE!

Very yum.  I want to try it as the recipe is written, but Claire had demanded that I not change a thing.  So, there you have it.

What I made for dinner 12/20/2015

Edit:  This was bland as all get out.  Not going to do it again.  But if I did, I'd season the crap out of it.

Slow Cooker Pork Chops and Potatoes

Slept in gloriously this morning.  After copious amounts of coffee, got moving around 12:30 and did lots of dishes, cleaned the kitchen, cleaned the kids' bathroom, and did four loads of laundry.  Didn't really think about dinner until 3:30 or so.  Kids we due to return from their dad's at 5, so I figured a real dinner was in order.

Had frozen boneless pork chops in the freezer, so I threw them in the microwave to defrost just enough to get that weird plastic backing loose.

Combined a small can of cream of chicken soup with a can of milk.

Peeled and quartered (more or less) 5 potatoes.

Added a bit of the soup/milk mixture to the bottom of the crock, then added a couple of chops.

Threw in a few sliced onions on top of the chops, then some more of the soup/milk mixture.

Then the remaining chops, some more onions, then the rest of the chops.

Threw in the potatoes and more onion slices.

Added a bunch of minced garlic, seasoned salt, and pepper.

Cooking on high now, for probably 3 - 3.5 hours.

Will whip up a canned veggie last minute....likely corn, because everyone loves it.  Will serve it all up with the leftover Italian bread from the other night.

Hope it's a success!

What I made for dinner 12/18/2015

Creamy Cheesy Pesto Pasta with Broccoli and Chicken

Kids were with their father, so whipped up this dish for my fella and myself.  Easy.

1 lb bowtie pasta - boil it up

Heat a couple tablespoons of olive oil over medium heat.

Add store-bought jar of Basil Pesto (1 cup). Or make your own, if you're sassy like that. Stir until a little bubbly.

Slowly add 1/2 cup of whipping cream.  Stir stir stir, until incorporated.

Add pepper to your liking.

Now here's the fun part:  add some Italian 3 Cheese Blend you picked up from the fancy cheese section at The Krogers (you can add an -s legally if it's prefaced by "The.")  I don't know how much, just add, stir, add, stir until smooth.

Microwave some frozen broccoli.  Throw it in the sauce.  Stir.

Throw in some canned chunk chicken breast or whatever cooked chicken you have on hand.  Stir.

Toss the sauce with your pasta.  Serve with love.

The tee vee

I like to be entertained.  I've been doing a lot of television viewing, mostly with my old man.  Here, I will list the shows and movies we've been obsessing over recently.  For YOUR entertainment.

Modern Family (Hulu) - love those wacky folks.

The Flash (Hulu) - initially was not interested, but Mike and the kids were.  Now I'm hooked.  Love the actor who plays Barry Allen.

Booth at the End (Hulu) - I had viewed the first few episodes of this series some time ago, and thought Mike would enjoy, so we're doin' it again.  Am completely enamored with the actor who plays the main character, Xander Berkeley.  He's cute as crap.  Awesome series, however very few episodes, so I'm worried about the severity of DTs I'll experience when we run out.

Orange is the New Black (Netflix) - I'm re-watching this for Mike's benefit.  Not painful at all.  Love that show.  New season coming out in June!  Woooo!

Brooklyn Nine-Nine (Hulu) - I passively watch this, as it's on Mike's must watch list.  Usually, I do jigsaw puzzles on the tablet while this one is on.  Some funny story lines and quirky dialogue.  Kinda hokey, but in a good way.

The Arrow (Hulu) - I really don't watch this, not because I don't like it...it's just that it's way more complicated that The Flash, and I'm missing a lot of the back story.  But I'm present when it's on, so it rubs off on me.  Major tablet puzzling going on while The Arrow is on.

Mad Men (Netflix) - I haven't introduced this to Mike yet, but it's been a long-standing favorite of mine.  I recently binge watched the first part of Season 7.  Can't wait for Netflix to catch up with the rest.

We've been watching some movies here lately, too.  Namely....

American Treasure - the whole family watched this one.  Lots of cool history, despite the presence of Nicholas Cage (probably my least favorite actor).

Bridget Jones's Diary - because my man likes rom-coms and hadn't seen it yet.  It was fun for me to re-watch.

Romancing the Stone - sometimes it's fun to relive some 1980s adventure.

Silver Linings Playbook - Oh my gosh, the best movie I've seen in a long time!  Loved it and absolutely recommend it to anyone who has a soul.

America's Sweethearts - I had never seen it, but was completely open due to the John Cusack factor. Was a very cute and funny film.

Goodfellas - My absolute all time favorite and I had to share it with Mike.  He loved it!  Yay!

More to come!!  Toodles!

Bring it on, then clean it up

That man I was in like with in the last post?  Yeah, we're in love, and it's kind of a big deal.  So much so that - even though I swore up and down I'd never live with a dude again - he has moved in with us.  Seriously!  We were already basically co-habitating for months anyway:  On kid week he'd be at my place...on non-kid week I'd be at his.  So, we took the big plunge, cleaned out his apartment and brought all the junk over to mine.

All. The. Junk.

He's been in officially for 2.5 weeks now (though believe you me, there was other junk here weeks before that) and I will tell you that our apartment looks like a MicroCenter projectile vomited in every direction possible.  

85 yards of cord?  We've got that.

Surround Sound components in a haphazard pile?  Yessiree!

Cables out the wazoo?  Indeed.

More modems than your mom can count?  Check.

Now that the queen size mattress set is out of the dining room hallway, I'm confident that we'll be able to move the computer from the dining table to an actual desk.  But I have really gotten used to the keyboard as part of my place setting...

Army bag full of shoes, my living room will miss you when you've finally found a suitable home.  

Same goes for the Kroger bag filled with ties.

Guitars?  There are guitars, both acoustic and bass.  I know there's a nook or cranny for you guys someplace.  

The cabinets are packed with plates and bowls in abundance.  I quite think it's possible for us to not do dishes for a month and still have enough dinnerware to suit our needs.

We now have whisks in three different sizes.  For all the whisking!

It's going to be a grand day, indeed, when the TV is hooked up and on the TV stand!

Until then, we'll happily watch Netflix from the comfort of wooden dining room chairs. :)

Love you, honey!

Thoughts of an Inappropriate Social Moron in Like

When an inappropriate social moron is "in like" with someone special, her imagination runs wild with all the possibilities of the immediate future.  Lots of thoughts, and probably none of them are normal.

Thought 1:  I can’t wait to fall asleep next to him and wake up with my arm completely numb under his warm body.

Thought 2:  Imma load up his bathroom trash can with super plus tampon applicators and he’s gonna love it!

Thought 3:  Next time we’re out and walking, and I trip and fall (over nothing?) he’ll smile warmly and help me up.  He’ll find it so endearing.

Thought 4:  I wonder if he’ll let me pop his back zits?  I really hope he likes to have back zits popped.

Thought 5:  I can’t wait for him to find my earbud-induced, off key mumble singing adorable.

Thought 6:  I really want to make him a sammich and pour him a drink.

Thought 7:  Finding my long, dark, tangly hairs wrapped around everything at his place will remind him how much I….um….love to be wrapped around things.

Thought 8:  Free hugs!

Thought 9:  Maybe, just maybe, this will be my one true love:  a man who appreciates me when I pluck my eyebrows and strategically place the hairs on each of my fingers and saunter up to him, hands extended, saying “Grrrrr!  I’m gonna get you!!!”

Like is a wonderful thing.

Act 1, Scenes 3 and 4

Ditzy Older Sister: (exasperated) I don’t know where anything is in this purse!

The Mean One: Well, I’m not an expert on navigating purses, so I don’t know what to tell you.

The Mean One: You might want to ask Whiney Lil Sister, though.

Whiney Lil Sister (who happens to be male): I knew that was coming.

Ditzy Older Sister: I have a Gardenburger for lunch. 

Whiney Lil Sister: What kind?

Ditzy Older Sister: Portabella Mushroom.

Red Headed Step Child: Those are really good.

The Cynic: Those are patties of lies!

The Cynic: There is no way you will ever convince me that the cap of a fungus tastes better than a dead animal.

Act 1, Scene 2

The Cynic: Whiney Lil Sister, you need to learn to stop giving so many fucks.

Whiney Lil Sister: Not a fuck was given.

The Mean One: You only have a limited amount of fucks.  Hoard them.

Act 1 Scene 1

Spinning Psycho of Fun:  Some asshole put the toilet paper on backwards!

***Cue audience laughter***

Spinning Psycho of Fun: Do you like it under or over?

Red Headed Step Child:  Over.

Spinning Psycho of Fun: Good, you're a human being.

Red Headed Step Child: Fuck you!  Don't call me a human being.

The Peacekeeper: I just want it on the little spinner.

Spinning Psycho of Fun: There's some people, man, that shed more pubic ass hair than most people have on their head.

Cast of Characters

I worked with The Mean One to name this cast of characters.  The names are all appropriate and set now, so please review them carefully, as they will be interacting for your reading pleasure in the near future.

• Kenny Rogers
• The Peacekeeper
• The Cynic
• Red Headed Step Child
• Spinning Psycho of Fun
• The Mean One
• Whiney Lil Sister
• Mother Hen
• Ditzy Older Sister

Stay tuned.

SelfieMania

All the cool kids are doing it.  Since I'm cool, and YOUNG, I'll do it too.  Maybe regularly, but definitely realistically.  WYSIWYG, beeches!

I call this one "Quaint."

How not to sext

*only one side of the convo is shown, to protect the poor recipient.
**real body part names have been omitted to make this "family friendly."
***the food was really good, at least.


I'm eating chips and salsa
It's sooo hawt
This chimichanga is so good it's criminal
Juicy and so warm
Getting sooo full
I feel like rubbing the guacamole on my (baby feeding devices)
This shredded chicken is putting me over the top
The pico de gallo is titillating!
Oh god, I'm going to pass out now.
Beached whale on couch.

Seeing what's up

Hello, World!

I got new glasses.

I can see you better now.

Happy St. Patrick's Day to All!

We have a Betsy Boo

Hey youse guys!

Our family has grown!  We now have a lovely kitty (what some people refer to as a "fur baby" but to me, she is a "purr baby"... she purrs constantly!) named Betsy.

She was chosen from a rescue group at PetSmart by my children, and they also named her.  It was like a magnet - they were just drawn to her.  She didn't even look the least bit interested in us while she was in her little cage.  But they seemed to know she was the cat for us.

Her foster dad advised us she would likely be standoff-ish for about a week; that she would probably sit off on her own while getting acclimated.  This, she did....for less than 24 hours.  Since then, she's been a purring, rubbing, kneading fool and seems to love all of us.  It's pretty perfect.

The kids still startle her a bit when they're loud or crazy, but they do the same to me. ;)  With me, she'll jump in my lap, or on my legs when I lie on the couch.  She's a sweetheart, and we really got so lucky with this girl.  She even poops and pees where she's supposed to!  What more can I ask for?

Hey, let's talk!

Hey you!  It's been a while, hasn't it?  Let's catch up.  I'll spill all my thoughts, then you can share yours.

So, hey, remember when I thought I was an introvert?  Ha ha ha ha ha, turns out I'm not.  At all.  I crave people.  I like talking with people...people I know, strangers, anyone.  I think people are pretty rockin' awesome, too.  There are so many kind people out there.  Supportive, courteous, generous, polite.  Really, most of you all are all of those things.

So, hey, remember when I was a cute little thin-ish thing like 1.5 years ago?  I'm not anymore.  I'm a fatass again.  But the funny thing is, boys still pay attention to me.  Like more so now.  I don't get it.  I'm not happy at my weight, and it will change.  Because boys or men or not, I want to be happy in my skin.

Did I tell you I got a new position at work, like back in February?  I'm happier now.  I have more impactful stuff to do.  It's frustrating at times, and a lot of the time in recent months.  We're kind of going through a transition.

I'm still poor as crap.  I'm still waiting on my QDRO settlement from the divorce.  I've only been divorced 6 thousand years now.  I'm still fighting for equality with the ex.  He's still being all controlly, and I still struggle with being a door mat.  I just want things to be easy for all parties involved, and when that can't happen, I want things to be easy for most parties involved, even if that doesn't involve me.  Whatever.  The kids know.

I'm still in the same semi-shitty apartment.  I kind of like it, and the kids really like it.  They say they prefer it to the "mansion" at Dad's.  Hard to believe.

So, C-Note is 10 - TEN - years old.  LJ will be 8 in October.  And Bear is 6.  It's all crazy stuff.  But I absolutely love and adore watching them grow up!  People talk all the time about wanting to keep their children little, but I just don't get that.  The growing, the changing, the becoming individuals...it's awesome.  I say this, but all three kids seem to think I'm the bombdiggity still.  So maybe when they hate me, I'll feel differently.

I've been addicted to many things in the past year:  Arrested Development, Weeds, Scrubs, Breaking Bad, Mad Men....I am in love with Netflix and all it has to offer a person who wants the immediate gratification of 6 seasons in two weekends.  I've gotten full throttle back into reading.  Harry Potter (thanks, Cam!), Game of Thrones, a cool little series that starts with Uglies, and many, many more.  The power of a book is amazing.

I'd lost the thrill of photography for a while.  It started to feel like a chore to me, so I backed off.  For quite a while.  I still have the same shitty low-grade camera with a kit lens.  There's no way I can justify better equipment at this juncture.  However, I shot my sister, brother-in-law, and niece this summer, and really was pleased with the results when I "processed" - I say process, because, really, I do very little post-processing....that's just not my thing - the photos.  I got my happiness back.  I took pictures of my best friend and her family today.  I want to do more.  And I will.

Ok, so, that's that for now.  I liked talking with you!  Maybe I'll come around more often.  So, how are YOU? 

Creepy Stalker Song of the Day

Creepy Stalker Song of the Day:  Let Me Take You Home Tonight by Boston

Read the lyrics.  Creepy stalker.

Now I'm not like this, I'm really kind of shy
But I get this feeling whenever you walk by
I don't wanna down you, I wanna make you high
If you you could see your way to me, come on and let me try.

Let me take you home tonight
Mamma now it's alright
Let me take you home tonight
I'll show you sweet delight.

You must understand this, I've watched you for so long
That I feel I've known you, I know it can't be wrong
If we just get together, I want to make you see
I'm dreaming of your sweet love tonight, so mamma let it be

Let me take you home tonight
Mamma now it's alright
Let me take you home tonight
I'll show you sweet delight.

I don't wanna make excuses, I don't wanna lie
I just got to get loose
With you tonight

Let me take you home tonight
Mamma now it's alright
Let me take you home tonight
I'll show you sweet delight.

I don't wanna make excuses, I don't wanna lie
I just got to get loose
With you tonight

I don't wanna down you, I wanna make you high
And I get this feeling whenever you walk by
If we just get together, I wanna make you see
I'm dreamin' of your sweet love tonight, so mamma let it be.

Let me take you home tonight
Mamma now it's alright
Let me take you home tonight
I'll show you sweet delight
I wanna show you sweet delight, show ya sweet delight
Pretty mamma wanna show ya sweet delight


Let me take you home tonight
You know I wanna take you home
Let me take you home tonight
I don't wanna be alone
Let me take you home tonight
Let me take you home tonight
Let me take you home tonight

Breakfast

What do you fix your family for breakfast?

Weekend breakfast, particularly.  Well, "Breffass," as we call it. 

Sometimes we do simple stuff, like cereal.  Or granola bars and a banana. Mostly on the weekends, though, we have more traditional breffasses.  Today we had cinnamon rolls and fruit salad (fugi apples and cuties all mixed together).  Yesterday, we had scrambled eggs, onions, and ham.  Luke and Claire mixed up theirs (and asked for added cheese).  Cam ate his all separate, because that's the kind of guy he is.

My favorite Big Breffass to fix is scrambled eggs, fried potatoes, sausage, bacon, and fruit salad.

My boyfriend makes me omelets for Big Breffass, which I adore.  He puts all kinds of goodness in there:  mushrooms, onions, bell peppers, cheese.

When I go to First Watch for Big Breffass (rare) I love the Chickichanga, which is "whipped eggs with spicy all-natural white-meat chicken, chorizo sausage, green chilies, Cheddar and Monterey Jack, onions and avocado rolled in a flour tortilla. Topped with Vera Cruz sauce and sour cream. Served with fresh fruit."  Totally healthy!  Ha!

Ah, Breffass...

DD, Part 1

Dear Diary,

Today, I woke up early, told my kids to wake up, and got in the shower.  My shower was very nice, as far as the hot water and successful washing go.  But only one kid would get up at first.  The second one eventually stumbled into the bathroom.  But the third....I called his name at least 20 times, threatened to ground him, etc etc, and then he finally got up right before my shower was over.  Then he took forever to get ready and we ended up out the door 20 minutes later than I had planned.  That makes me cranky.  Then we were almost out of the complex when a kid said, "I'm an idiot!" because he had forgotten the card he made for his teacher.  So I went back and got the card (as well as my phone, which was still on the bathroom counter, but shhh don't tell the kids that), drove in the rain and dropped the kids at school.  Then I went to work, was cranky and tired, even though I had gotten approximately 10 hours of sleep the night before.  I was also crampy, if that explains anything.  Then I drank 3 cups of coffee and became slightly more pleasant.  Then I saw this guy with the bluest eyes and I couldn't help but be non-cranky and smile.  I continued to work all day, throw in a couple of meetings, eat coneys for lunch, drink tea, blah blah blah.  Then I talked to the ex about my biggest kid and his course of medical care.  Then I finished up work and headed home to pick up my kids.  We came home, I made dinner, we ate dinner, I let the dishes sit, started homework, had a fit when my kids would not stop talking like crap to me and to each other, and ended up screaming - in their tone - each and every thing I hear from them every day.  And then I said, "how would you like all that shouted at you all the time?"  They just sat on the couch, dumbfounded.  I hope it worked.  Then we watched 1/2 hour of Phineas and Ferb and will soon be heading to bed for Quiet Reading Time and then Sleeping Time.  And that was my day.

Love,
Ms. Cranky Pants

Spend 7 minutes with Claire

Mom, what's this black button for?
What's that orange thing?
Did they pass my part?
He just said the H Word?
Do you even know the H Word, Luke?
Mom, does Luke know the H Word?
Mom, can you do that over?
Mom, which one do you vote for, this one? 
The pink hair or the orange hair?
OK, but I'm voting for the pink.
What's this?  Mom, what's this?
What is this?  Mom, do you know this song?  What is it?
You have to tell me, please!
History sticks to your feet?
Mommy, I wanna hear the song you like by Pink!  Can we hear that?
Blow me one last kiss?  Can we hear it?
This is not Blow me one last kiss.  OK. 
When will we hear Blow me one last kiss?
OK.  Why does that say OK?
Do I know this?  Oh, I love this song? 
I wanna hear it in video!
He said the H Word again!  He said the H Word AGAIN!  Two times.
He said the bathroom word!  He said crotch!  Oh, crutch? 
Well, it sounds like crotch.
Is it called Missed the Boat or Missed the Plane?
How come this light is flashing?  This yellow light right here.
WHEN CAN WE HEAR PINK?
How much words do you have to wriiiiiiiiite?  How much words?

My thoughts exactly: Coffee

Surviving the World - Lesson 1627 - Coffee Lovers, Part II

Why do I love Sara Bareilles?

Blender Blender Blender

I mean, I am so excited by these here recipes!

Blender Recipes from Betty

Smoothies and shakes (duh, there), hummus, cookies, pasta sauces, dips, mousse, soups, popsicles, oh my!

P.S.  I had a blender for several years and made nearly nothing.  Now that I don't have one, I can't help but wonder how shallow my life has been without preparing these amazing delights!  Must. Get. Blender.

But wait, even more

Make annual gyno appointment.

Go to the dentist already.  Well, find local dentist, first.

Eye appointment, too.  Glasses.

Store files, flatten system, load Windows 7.

Do you call it flattening your system?  I dunno, I only support IT, I don't do it.  That's what I am calling it.

Clean remainder of bathroom walls of filthy nicotine.

Paint at least living room, kitchen, dining room.  Yes, I know I've been saying this for nearly 2.5 years.  Once I finally do it, I'll be ready to move.

Figure out what I want to do with my social life.  Or not.  Probably not right now.  Just be happy and stable with the current.  Because it's good.

Buy my normal toilet paper, because even though this cheaper stuff is sufficient...it's not what I want.  And quality toilet paper is important to me.

Hang shelf in the kids' room.  For storage, and because it's been unhung for nearly 2.5 years now.

Wakeful Listmaking

So, It's 5am and I have a sick kid.  He's a vomity mess, unable to keep anything - water included - down and in so much pain because he can't poop.  He feels awful physically, but also it tears him up that he feels like he's being a burden with the puke spew I keep having to clean up and the fact that he's keeping me up.  But I don't mind.  Yep, I'm tired and a little crabby, but the little dude is sick!  It's my job!

Anyway, he's finally asleep on the couch and I'm unable to sleep.  So, I am thinking.  And blog-stalking.  It's funny.  I found this girl...I think she's the former girlfriend of a guy that I really didn't have a thing with.  I mean, maybe I had a thing with him, but not in person.  It was like three years ago, and we never even met.  Which sounds so absurd.  But, back to the girl.  Tonight, I rediscovered her blog, and I like her.  She's all into organization and projects...which I wish was my case.  She seems cool and nice and I'm sure I'd like her if we knew one another.

So, I was reading her blog and became inspired to list some stuff I need to do.  Maybe I won't do it all, but some of it I will.  And it helps to get it out there.

Also, I used to be more organized and clean-like.  Before I had a job and a social life.  It's sort of amazing to think about now:  I had these three very young kids, yet I kept a pretty rocking house.  I vacuumed almost daily and everything (mostly) had a spot.  At the time, though, I thought the dream house was a mess.  And I know my then-spouse felt the same way.  Little did I know, a few years later, I'd be such a slob!

Back to the list.  Organize.  Get things done.

- Call the apartment people and get my garbage disposal fixed.
- Drag sick kid and well kids out in the snow to the store to get dishwasher detergent and laundry detergent.
- Fold/hang the four loads of clean clothes/towels littering my bedroom.
- Receive child support checks and rectify negative balance in checking account.
- Eventually, but soon, purchase additional blanket for my bed.
- Find places for new Christmas toys.
- De-Christmas the apartment and put that shit away.
- Do more laundry.  Also, put it away.
- Moisturize my sad old-lady hands.  On a regular basis.
- Scrub floors/vacuum floors.
- Call the apartment people and get my bathtub re-caulked.
- Dust.
- Stop eating so much shit and lose the weight.
- Score a free or low-cost bookshelf.  The one we have is sad and small and not at all able to hold the amount of kid books we have.
- Clean out vehicle.  You'd die if you saw it.

I'd actually like to get started on something this very moment, but I have sleeping children that I want to keep sleeping.  And I have plenty of time to conquer many of these tasks (minus the ones that involve money, since I currently don't have any, and only got paid 1/2 of my check this period and will not see the remainder until next paycheck, and have yet to see any child support $$$ - thank you Commonwealth of Kentucky, for being assholes - and ugh!  now I'm all frustrated!)....yes, so I have time to do lots of this stuff because I have tomorrow off work, as well as next Wednesday and Thursday (thank you, Winter Break, for eating up 20 hours of the new year's PTO).

Also to add to the list:  celebrate New Year's Eve with a great, cool person. Figure a way to pay for such celebrating.

Anyway, I have the kids until Monday evening, then back again Wednesday and Thursday.   Then they're back to the ex for the week beginning Friday morning.  Or Thursday night...whichever he decides.  He does a lot of the deciding, somehow.  Then I work Friday and Saturday.  Then free (as in alone, kidless) until I return to work the following Wednesday.  So, even more time to get my surroundings/life in order.

Looking at the clock and realizing I don't have much longer until the well kids wake up.  Probably around 7am.  And they'll likely want big breakfast.  I have eggs, sausage, bacon, and apples.  They had french toast yesterday.  I did that pretty well.  My point being, though:   I should try to get an hour of sleep in.  Or maybe forgo that and fold some towels, and hope for a napping opportunity (read: put in a movie and snooze in and out on the couch while the kids watch) later this morning.

Either way, it feels like the right place to wrap this up.  Salud.

What I want for Christmas

Not what I need.  Not the things I asked for.  The things I waaaannnnnt.

New Winter coat.  Size:  larger than the one I own.

Endless rolls of quarters.

A case of Riesling.

Year's supply of monthly mani/pedis.

Someone to paint my apartment.

A new bed/new mattresses.

New running shoes.

An awesome new camera lens.

And a big ole tablet.

That's all.

These wonderful things are the things we'll remember all through our lives

Well then.

I ate well.  Then I ate moderately well.  Then I ate like crap and had several drinks.  Then I took pictures and posed for pictures.  Despite my heftiness, I felt good about my body.  So, score.

Then I got sick.  Well, strike that.  I had been mildly sick, as in sinus junk that I sort of knew had turned into an infection.  But then I started with a fever and achiness and lethargy and massive shitting.  So I went to the happy little Kroger health clinic, got a flu test (do not ever do this.  it's awfully painful and in my opinion unnecessary), and antibiotics for the sinus infection.  Then I laid around and slept tons.  Then I started to feel better.

My body now is ache-free, except for this muscle pain in my lower back that is shouting:  STOP COUGHING AND STOP SHITTING!  By the way, I'm coughing much less.

I love my kids.  They are just....just....I am just so in love with them.  Luke has had a substitute teacher for the past several days and he wanted to write something special for her since today is her last day.  We decided to do a custom Mad Lib for her.  He's an amazing little guy.  He was so proud.  She had better love it!

Cameron will read anything he can get his hands on.  He's out of new reading material at my place, and I suppose he was tired of re-reading the books he's already re-read several times.  So he found a Disney party planning book and has read it cover to cover.  He's now ready to throw anything from a Hunchback of Notre Dame Party to Cinderella's Ball.  Kid knows the ingredients to Hundred-Acre Wood Honey-Apple Punch.

Claire, my Bear...the girl is obsessed with crafting.  Obsessed.  She wants empty toilet paper rolls, paper, beads, cotton balls, scraps of anything.  She will cut whatever into a million little pieces and then glue them everywhere.  If there's tape in the house, it's not for long!  She can obliterate a roll of tape in one fell swoop.  She's also becoming quite the little reader!  I'm so proud of all three of my readers.


I like Christmas.  Have purchased a few items, but this coming paycheck will be needed to seal the deal.  Will definitely have to hide the tape I get for wrapping purposes.  Claire asked me the other day if I know how to speak Jewish.

Mazel tov.

Literature, erotic

So, my diet has been bad.  I thought I'd throw in some exercise.

Here's a reading of Walt Whitman's "Leaves of Grass."  Watch at your own risk.  This is not a typical reading.  But it's an awesome reading.



Credit to Clayton Cubitt

God, I miss blogging

How did I get from point A to point B?  From something I really liked a lot (maybe loved) to not having it at all?  This blog, these years of words, has helped me through so much.  Helped me in a therapeutic sense, in a spiritual sense....but also helped me to express myself, to be creative.  To release the energy, the stuff, the words, the ideas, the silliness, the craziness.  How did I let it go?  I don't feel like my being suffered by not blogging.  However, damn!  I feel good writing!  See, once I start, there's no shutting me up. 

So, more stuff:

Tonight's dinner is spaghetti with vodka sauce, garlic bread, and salad.  How am I going to handle that?  Well, who knows.  But I have a plan.  Not going to deny myself the sweet, sweet goodness that is pasta.  But going to cook only an amount that will reasonably fill Cam, Claire and me.  Luke has decided recently that he doesn't like pasta.  Silly boy.  No worries, like everything else, it'll be temporary.  And the salad I prepare will be huge.  I don't have spinach leaves (sads), but I have romaine, cucumber, green bell peppers, and carrots.  And lowfat Italian dressing.  My salad helping will be large.  I'll try not to eat garlic bread.  That's that. 

When you smoke inside an apartment, guess what happens?  Years later, some lady who definitely doesn't smoke inside her apartment ends up high on bleach fumes, scrubbing the shit out of her bathroom walls.  Where did these nicotine remnants come from, and why are they just now suddenly appearing?  And why the fuck did you smoke in your bathroom?  On the pot, I assume?  That's just gross.  So, yeah.  Bleach. Scrubbing.  Fumes. 

Breaking Bad.  Best series ever.  Ever, ever, ever.  Has got me under its thumb, has me enthralled, has my heart racing, my palms sweating, my brain in overdrive.  I don't want it to end.  Currently on Season 4, Episode 1.  Want to watch it all the time, with no breaks. :)  A little obsessed.

Ok, I'm going to stop for now.  Need to get back to the Bad.  And the cleaning. 

Stuff I put in my mouth, Day 1

Well, I started out pretty well, then by the end totally fell flat on my face. But I'm not giving up.

First I had a generic CapriSun juice box thing. That was before I decided to eat "right." I was thirsty.

Then I had a bunch of black coffee.

A reasonable amount of grapes.

Roasted turkey breast on a wheat tortilla with a teaspoon of ranch dressing. Not lowfat, which I normally get, but full fat since that's all I had.

When I was cutting up veggies for the kids' lunches, I had random bits of bell peppers, cucumbers, as well as 1/4 of a cutie.

Water.

Crystal Light.

Then dinner happened, and I totally effed up. I had like 3 baked chicken tender things (breast meat, only smaller than a full-sized breast). Like 7 (yes, seven) asparagus stemmy things, two servings of mashed potatoes, and a biscuit. And a glass of white wine. I felt like crap after.

But wait there's more: I already felt like crap, so I joined the kids and ate a pudding pop. Man, was that good. Listen, I'm not usually a sweets freak, and would have normally forgone the pudding pop. Geeze.

Anyway, I'm back on track. I know I need to eat more smaller meals. Sigh.

Goodbye Jabba

Well, I guess you didn't enjoy my foreign men.  Pfffft.  Whatever.  So, I will tell you about how fat I've gotten.

When the ex left like 3 years ago, I got all depressed (well, depressed-er) and got non-hungry and stopped eating tons of chocolate chips, blocks of cheddar, and 38 Dr. Peppers a day.  I mean, I still ate, but I ate for nutrition and energy, since I needed to take care of my 2, 4, and 7 year olds.  Anyway.

I kept the weight off for a long time, and felt REALLY super good about my hot little body.  But then came this Summer.  Lots of home-cooked pasta-filled meals with the kids, lots of eating out (cleaning my plate, of course, because could I really afford to eat out?), lots of sitting around.....and I've gained a shit-ton of weight.  I had to go up a pants size, and my Winter coat is so tight that I feel like a giant sausage stuffed into it.  Gross.

Enter this coming Sunday, when I am playing model.  Model.  Not behind the lens.  In front of the lens.  In all my overstuffed glory.  So, I am having a week of good-eating.  Not eating good - as in indulging in all the carb-filled happiness that I so enjoy.  But eating well - as in putting healthy things in my mouth.  As in no Dr. Pepper. 

The plan:  drink water, hot tea (straight up), coffee (I like it black), and Crystal Light (I love that stuff).  Eat fruits, veggies, and small portions of meat, pasta, bread, and dairy.  Oh how I love the dairy.  It will be difficult.  But if I can feel a little better about Sunday, maybe I can continue that good feeling and get back to the little hot bod I once rocked. 

Also, perhaps some intense walking.  I like walking. 

And, now comes the accountability:  I shall list everything I put into my mouth right here, for the world (aka 6 folks who read this thing) to see.  Each night, expect a report.  I don't weigh myself or anything crazy like that, but I know how my clothes feel, so I'll report on that as well.

So, if you will, send me some fat cell burning, crapping my brains out vibes.  And also willpower vibes. 

Let's do this.

CoverMania! Day 2

Day 2. French guys.  Harmonies are killer.  Accents are adorable.  The one dude looks like Paul McCartney.

CoverMania! Day 1

So, these days my free time is mainly spent listening to foreign guys covering popular songs.

Day 1.  Sweedish.  Super cute guy.  Lovely voice.  Awesome song.

Remember when....

Repost from 2008:

Good vs. Evil...The Next Generaton

ManiacChild: Wanna play wif me, Mom?
(Relatively) Politically Correct Mom: Sure!
ManiacChild: Here! (handing PCMom a scary overly-muscular evil action figure from McDonald's happy meal)
PCMom: Oh fun!
ManiacChild: (brandishing his own scary overly-muscular evil Happy Meal action figure) Aarrgh! Roar!
PCMom: Well, hello! My name is Black Plastic Guy, what's yours?
ManiacChild: Aaarrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhh (slams his Scary Man into Black Plastic Guy)
PCMom: (backing Black Plastic Guy away a bit) I may look scary and imposing, but I'm the same as you. I have feelings, too.
ManiacChild: Raaaaahhhhggghhhhh! (slam, slam, slam)
PCMom: Let's hug. I love you.
ManiacChild: Urrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! (making his Scary Man give Black Plastic Guy a frenzied, prolonged kiss)
PCMom: Well, ok...
ManiacChild: Raaaarrrrrrrrrghhhh! ArghArghArgh! (forcefully beating Scary Man against the floor)
PCMom: Wow, your guy is really violent.
ManiacChild: (raising Scary Man triumphantly into the air) Vi-lent!!!

Also:

Also:  Start picking up the camera again!

Duh!

Tried something new

Well, I did it.  I tried a relationship.  Like a real one where you call him a boyfriend and he calls you a girlfriend and you see each other a lot and are all exclusive and whatnot.  So, let's just say I've been guarded.  Marriage effectively ended Fall of 2009.  Wouldn't date anyone for like ever.  Then I decided to take a chance and let the guard down in this late Spring, 2012.  Yes, I'm slow.

Well, I'm slower than you might think, because what I learned from the relationship thing is that I am not ready for the relationship thing yet.  It was cool getting to know someone completely different from me.  But it was daunting and confusing getting to know someone completely different from me. 

I learned recently that he considers me a "Normal." 

A Normal.

As in....um, normal, boring, average person?

Um?  As in below-my-level-of-intelligence person?

Ugh, so I'm a Normal.  What the eff ever.  Yeah, I'm the first to admit my life is rather boring.  I'm not all in-yo-face geeked out nerdalicious.  I mean, yeah, admittedly I am sorta geekish, but I guess Normally so. 

Anyway, back to being me.  All boring and alone but not lonely.  Got the three children to raise and stuff.  Got the apartment to keep and stuff.  Job and stuff.  Friends and social life still tickin'. 

:) 

So I tried something different and it didn't work out.  'Sok.  Back to the Normal.

Maybeness

Let's be real.  If two people cannot agree on what is a joke vs. what is serious reality, where can that go?  It can go to an argument...that's what I say.  Probably the whole night was filled with disagreements and arguments, which just makes for a fucked up night to begin with. 

All I know is I'm weary of continual disagreements.  I'm weary of debating and arguing over the same tired point.  Especially when both parties agree on something...what the fuck is the point of arguing over it?  It's not fun.  It's not entertaining.  It's draining.

I'm becoming drained.  I don't like it.  When do the happy moments outweigh the understanding that one might be perfectly happy with being alone?

All this said, maybe she is the one with the problem.  Maybe she just has PMS (she does) and maybe she's just touchy in general.  Maybe it's not a "they" thing.  Maybe it's just her. 

Maybe.

I forgot

Something about a peegasm.  I don't remember the specifics, except I don't think I had one.

Bedtime Facewashing 101*

*Or, How To Wash Your Face at Bedtime Like You Halfway Give a Shit

I am baaaaad about washing my face before bed.  Because A) I don't usually think about it, and B) I usually *fall* asleep rather than making a decision to *go* to sleep.  But with Summertime pool fun and sunblock use, I vow to change my evile ways.

So here's how you half-assedly do it:

-  Pull hair back.  Or up.  Whatever, get it out of your face.
-  Grab washcloth.  Not for scrubbing, but for drying.
-  Grab your smelly Clearasil Daily Face Wash.  Don't get the generic Kroger equivalent.  It does not work as well, plus it smells worse.
-  Grab your generic astringent.  Like Sea Breeze, but cheaper.  I think my brand is Wal Mart.  Don't judge.  I went there once.
-  Ready a couple of cotton balls.
-  Be at a sink.
-  Run some warm water, splash liberally on face.
-  Dispense a glob of the Clearasil into hand, rub hands together.  Slather directly on face.  Rub around gently.  Don't forget to close eyes and mouth.  Don't use the washcloth, as you are an OCD scrubbing fool and will end up removing several important layers of skin.
-  Rinse face well with warm water.  Don't forget about the part that got into your hairline.
-  Pat, don't rub, well with washcloth.
-  Apply astringent to face via cotton balls, being careful around sensitive eye socket area.  But pay attention to said area, since your genetically sucky dark circles are the most concealed during the day.  Bask in the lovely astringent aroma.  It's not huffing.
- Use washcloth to clean up watery sink mess.
-  Put the Clearasil back in the shower for tomorrow morning's washing.  Put away the rest of your supplies.  Hang washcloth to dry.
- Grab glass and fill with water.  Grab multivitamin (yes, I'm going to start this habit).  Ingest both.
-  Night, night.
-  Sleep tight.
-  See you in the morning light.

Once more, you are welcome.

I ate two sandwiches for lunch today

First, pre-packaged tuna salad with ranch dressing on that flat, round, multigrain bread. 

Then, I got jealous of what Lucas was eating, so I fixed salami and cheddar on the multigrain, warmed it up in the micro, then added ranch.

And it was good. All good.

Things you need in your kitchen, part one

A glass mixing bowl, with a handle and a lid.  Like this one, that's actually called a batter bowl:

It's from The Pampered Chef.


Also, you need a melon baller. For balling melons.  Especially cantaloupe and watermelon.  Mine is like this, but only has the balling mechanism at one end.  I'm simple...it's all I need:

I got mine at Target or Kroger.  Cheap.


Prepackaged, just-add-water, biscuit mix.  Just in case.  I've had it come in handy.  Hello, breakfast in car.

The generic Kroger brand is good, too.  Add honey.  That's the secret.


A microwave.  For reheating coffee, cooking frozen veggies, and for heating up those classy lean cuisine meals.  I lived without one for several months, and I'm not a stronger woman for it.  Get a mike.

Mine's not red, but this one sure is cute.

More to come.

Blogging out loud

I've been talking to myself a lot this morning.  I figured I'd share my conversation with you...cause you never know what snippets of thought could benefit others.

I am very thankful, I told myself, for many inventions.  Some of them are:  Scrubbing Bubbles, toothpaste, flushable wipes, soap, Lysol, hangers, ziplock bags, cutting boards, nail clippers, vinegar, paper towels.

I got all clean-y focused today.  I took out the trash, did six loads of laundry, unloaded the dishwasher, cleaned the tub/shower, cut up a buncha fruit and veg for kid lunches/breakfasts this week....and the day is young.

In the midst of folding towels, I realized I forgot I was going to try folding them a different way...for maximum linen closet utilization.  I called myself a moron.

You may wonder why I have so much laundry to do.  I have three kids, I refuse to wear shirts more than once, and someone in my home has bedtime accidents from time to time.  Which is fine and ok and doesn't upset me in the least...just gets expensive with the laundry.

If you haven't introduced your kids to sugar snap peas, you really should.  They are like freaking nature candy!

I told myself earlier that I am getting so much better at making fried eggs!

I have these Nice Hand Towels.  I bought them when we moved into the dream house, for the guest bathroom.  Because I think a guest bathroom should have Nice Hand Towels.  When I moved into my apartment, I never put out the Nice Hand Towels.  One, I never had guests, and two, the are Nice.  Then I figured out, hey! dumbass!  what is the point of having nice stuff if it's just going to sit in the linen closet?  So now I use the Nice Hand Towels like twice a week!  Guests or not!  They are soft and sort of luxurious and very absorbent.  They're still The Nice Ones, and I still make sure they're the ones any guests are exposed to, but it feels nice to not place such a limit on them.

I have been reading frugal penny-pinching sites, and I just don't get it.  Who in the world can spend $50/week on groceries + toiletries and paper products for one person, let alone a family of five or more??  Are my needs so extravagant?  Over the top?  I buy tons of generics....this is something I'm going to have to delve into here soon.  But right now, it's downright depressing to think of budgeting.  But, coming soon....

Now I'm telling myself I need to end this post.

Day 75/365

Day 75/365, a photo by melzeroo on Flickr.

Tin Man Toes

Day 74/365

Day 74/365, a photo by melzeroo on Flickr.

Just...whores.

Day 73/365

Day 73/365, a photo by melzeroo on Flickr.

Someone's not too old to snuggle with Mom

Day 72/365

Day 72/365, a photo by melzeroo on Flickr.

She's such a woman. Drying hair/watching tv/baking

Day 71/365

Day 71/365, a photo by melzeroo on Flickr.

Badass coffee mug