Bedtime Facewashing 101*

*Or, How To Wash Your Face at Bedtime Like You Halfway Give a Shit

I am baaaaad about washing my face before bed.  Because A) I don't usually think about it, and B) I usually *fall* asleep rather than making a decision to *go* to sleep.  But with Summertime pool fun and sunblock use, I vow to change my evile ways.

So here's how you half-assedly do it:

-  Pull hair back.  Or up.  Whatever, get it out of your face.
-  Grab washcloth.  Not for scrubbing, but for drying.
-  Grab your smelly Clearasil Daily Face Wash.  Don't get the generic Kroger equivalent.  It does not work as well, plus it smells worse.
-  Grab your generic astringent.  Like Sea Breeze, but cheaper.  I think my brand is Wal Mart.  Don't judge.  I went there once.
-  Ready a couple of cotton balls.
-  Be at a sink.
-  Run some warm water, splash liberally on face.
-  Dispense a glob of the Clearasil into hand, rub hands together.  Slather directly on face.  Rub around gently.  Don't forget to close eyes and mouth.  Don't use the washcloth, as you are an OCD scrubbing fool and will end up removing several important layers of skin.
-  Rinse face well with warm water.  Don't forget about the part that got into your hairline.
-  Pat, don't rub, well with washcloth.
-  Apply astringent to face via cotton balls, being careful around sensitive eye socket area.  But pay attention to said area, since your genetically sucky dark circles are the most concealed during the day.  Bask in the lovely astringent aroma.  It's not huffing.
- Use washcloth to clean up watery sink mess.
-  Put the Clearasil back in the shower for tomorrow morning's washing.  Put away the rest of your supplies.  Hang washcloth to dry.
- Grab glass and fill with water.  Grab multivitamin (yes, I'm going to start this habit).  Ingest both.
-  Night, night.
-  Sleep tight.
-  See you in the morning light.

Once more, you are welcome.