My ideal relationship. Ha.

I read a blog post where a lady did this thing for her therapist where she described her ideal relationship.  Meaning, partner-ish relationship.  It got me thinking.  I'm not sure I want a partner, but I guess it doesn't hurt to think about what he might seem like.  Maybe I do want a partner...I'm not certain....mostly it's hard to think about, so this will be quite an exercise.

Scenario A:
Casual Commitment.  This might be impossible.  But this guy is completely into you, thinks you're the bomb...you share senses of humor, ideals, he likes kids and doesn't mind at all that you have them.  He's super-awesome, but you need your distance, both physically and emotionally.  Pretty much, this is the "I'd like to see you 2 - 3 days/week, plus one overnight" deal.  And he's fine with that, because he wants a casually-committed relationship as well.  I'm not sure what I mean by commitment, you see.  Does it mean you don't see anyone else?  Probably.  Only thing is, I'm not sure I think monogamy is realistic, so it's something I'm unsure of.  The big thing with this guy is:  he doesn't smother you.  He doesn't want to control you, parent your kids, or insert himself in all parts of your being. If he wants to call you to see how you're doing, that's nice, but he can't get put-off if you don't text him on Thursday.  And you have other friends who are male, and you're not going to stop being friends with them and that's just how it is.  If your garbage disposal gets clogged, though, he would totally drop it all to help you out.  Also, he's awesome in bed.

This is hurting my head.

Scenario B:
MorphoMan.  Someone who is good at A turns into someone you might want to live with.  But then there's the whole kid thing.  I might not think monogamy is realistic, but this guy HAS to be committed to your kids.  He's not their father, nor does he want to be.  But he's obviously going to be a regular person in their lives, and kids crave stability, so that's where the commitment comes in.  If you live with him, you share expenses, but in no way combine finances.  Somehow there's a balance of give and take, but he's not going to tell you how to manage your money (unless you ask) and you're not going to control how much he spends on video games.  Since you live together, he has to understand that you-time is your time.  This is probably tricky.  Don't ask me - I have no idea how to have a successful relationship. 

Either way, the guy has to want to fix you dinner and be ok at killing spiders. He has to be confident enough to not be intimidated by your brilliance, but not some cocky asshole, either.  I'm not sure what the specs are look-wise, but let's just say attraction has to be present.  Like initially.  Attraction shouldn't be a thing that develops.  I guess finding someone who is right for you equals finding someone you can be totally comfortable with....but not toooooo comfortable (I think I did this in my marriage and effed everything up).  The respect has to be overwhelming. 

I'm definitely not desperately seeking a dude.  I miss companionship more and more lately, so I'm not as stubbornly closed off to the idea of a relationship as I used to be.  There are still lots of questions, confusion, and what-ifs.  I have no idea about most of this and don't even want to try to figure it all out.  I guess I'm saying if something happens, hooray.  If not, whatev.  I'm highly doubtful any reasonable guy would get involved with this mess.

My head still hurts.