I say the things you know you all think

Public restroom usage is a necessity in life.  I pride myself on the fact that I've come so far with regard to peeing/pooping in public.  One of my earliest memories is that I had trouble using my very own grandmother's bathroom.  For going number one.  Like, I had to concentrate and reach a distant level of relaxation to urinate.  Luckily, I grew to become more comfortable peeing in familiar places, but even as "recently" as high school, I know I had to have friends turn on the faucet in restrooms while on band trips to be able to effectively eliminate.  Still talking number one.

As for number two, forget it.  I am not kidding when I say I have been intensely uncomfortable pooping in public most of my life.  Until I had my first child, that is.  Honestly, I knew I didn't want to raise crazy little neurotic versions of myself, so I forced myself to be able to poop on most any toilet.  (Also, I stopped obsessively washing my hands, allowed my fork to touch the table, and even stopped turning my restaurant napkin inside out before I used it.)

So, these days, I'm completely comfortable eliminating (one and two) basically in any restroom.  Target?  Check.  Work?  Check.  Other people's homes?  Yup.  Even in gas station potties.  Success.  However, there is a certain amount of grossness about sharing a space with strangers to do poopy.  I used to get a little embarrassed about any lingering odor my elimination caused.  Then I was all, "well, everybody poops" and got over it.  Other people's lingering odor is noted, but not offensive.

But.  Ahem.  Other lingering odor is a complete sore spot for me.  I'm not talking about I-just-blew-up-the-bowl stuff, or period stuff (sorry, it happens).  I'm talking about jesus-do-you-ever-wash-yourself odor.  Dirty bum stuff.  That smell lingers worse than any other.  How can a woman go out in public without washing her special region for days?  And worse, how can she go to work like that?

So you pee, you poop, you bleed...and you do it all in a happy little single-gender communal area.  We share the experience and the remnants of the experience and it's not a big deal.  But please - feel free to take a daily shower.  Even every other day, I suppose.  Or air that stuff out every once in a while.  It's liberating and it benefits others.

End.