If you weren't you, would you be your friend? I'm not sure I'd be my friend. I feel like I'm overly-judgmental. I went to First Watch for brunch today - by myself, which totally rocked! - and this mother and her two teenage daughters got up from their table and didn't push their chairs in. And this really bothered me. Like, I actually had a conversation with myself (selves) about how atrocious these people were for not pushing in their chairs. I was almost disgusted. Disgusted? Because people neglected to replace their chairs in an orderly fashion? Really? Really. Why is this important to me? Why would I worry my little head about such nonsense? Why would I judge a person based on something so inconsequential?
Also, I am a lazy slob. Who wants to be associated with a lazy slob? I totally wait until the last minute to do stuff. I'm not a great housekeeper. Yes, I go through spurts where I am good at keeping things up, even manic if you get right down to it. But, for the most part? Dirty laundry overflows the baskets. Dust bunnies? You betcha. Dog hair everywhere? Uh-huh. Welcome to the monkey house. Okay, monkey house is probably not the appropriate thing to call my home, at least not in relation to its upkeep and order, but I couldn't think of anything clever to say, and Welcome to the Monkey House is one of my favorite books by Kurt Vonnegut, so there you are.
I obsess. I excess. I digress. Paul McCartney. Hand washing. Blemish picking. Tooth brushing. Vacuuming. Being the driver. Chocolate chips. Internet. Reading until the book is finished. Listening to the same song for days on end. Just a sampling of the things I've been known to obsess over through the years. Overeating, overbaking, overthinking, overfeeling, over and over and over. I ramble, I stray. Easily distracted. I digress.
I say what's on my mind. I'm not talking about telling you that your ass looks huge in those jeans, or that you're an awful singer or that you should perhaps look into alternate career options. I'm not an asshole, I don't think. More like, the random thoughts that most people filter from conversation? I say them. If you smell good, I'll probably tell you. If I like, for instance, that your last name ends in a double consonant, I'll let that be known. Aimless, odd, stupid crap has been known to flow from my brain and right out my mouth almost uncontrollably. Like, right now...the palms of my hands are itching like crazy. Do you care? No. Should you care? No. However, I feel the need to state it for all to know. Do you have a pressing need to discuss pubic hair upkeep? No? Well I do! Let's hash it out. Ugh. I annoy myself.
Want to be my friend?
6 comments:
OMG. Ok. So I have been thinking about all the fucking people in the world who are "middle ground" I mean, they don't obsess over stupid shit. I don't live there. I judge EVERYTHING. I assume everyone operates this way. And really, I have to believe it isn't so. If it were, there would be a world be a world filled with exhausted people. Like, you. Like, me. We are few. Or, fewer than average.
I would, and do, consider myself your friend. And the reverse, hopefully is true.;p I like the honesty I see from you. It is really nice. So, go ahead, If someday we meet, please, tell me I have a fat ass:D I welcome it. Did I overuse my comma's? I will wonder ALL night.
I LOVE this post.
Skip.
If your palms itch, that means money is coming your way! ;-)
This is great. I've been thinking about the answer all morning. I'm with you in the housekeeping department. I'm a freak about a lot of things, too, and I know I'm a chatty Kathy.
However, I guess I'm funny. I'm pretty nice. I'd want my kids to hang out with my kids. :P And I could have a knitting buddy. So, there's that.
ps - I'm your friend, so there.
This post made me laugh out loud. at work. I have had these same battles with myself before. For example, I will curse at a car trying to merge into traffic when I happen to already be in the right hand lane. I was there first! Now, if I happen to be the "merge-ee", it really pisses me off when people won't let me get on the interstate. The nerve of some people!
So, yes, I am completely wishy-washy to whatever happens to serve me at that particular moment.
For the record, I've always been your friend. But through your blog, I feel like I've gotten to know you (the honest you) in a whole new way.
Do you still want to be my friend? I'll be your friend unless you cut me off in traffic ;).
I say what's on my mind, too. It's embarrassing to me when people actually comment about it. Then I know I must go a bit too far. :/
Housekeeping is just not my thing. I can think of 9,467,895 other things to do besides dishes/vacuuming/laundry, etc.
I consider myself your friend. And I think I am pretty damn lucky to be able to do so. ;)
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