Friday's Frags

- "A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere" - I like these lyrics.  Soul Meets Body, Death Cab for Cutie.  Not even one of my favorite tunes by them, but that line is nice.

- I'm not a huge fan of Stacy's Pita Chips.  They seem to be the thing to eat, though.  Too damn bad, don't like 'em.

- I finally have something "cool." I never have anything cool.  I don't give two fucks about cars.  I drive a minivan, and that doesn't bother me.  I don't care.  It's easy to drive, doesn't look like a piece of crap, and gets decent gas mileage.  I am not that excited about the latest gadgets.  I don't have Tivo.  I don't have BluRay.  I just got an iPod like a year ago.  I didn't even have caller ID until like a year ago.  "Stuff" isn't generally an exciting thing for me.  However.  I now have something semi-cool.  I have a Droid.  I have a cool cell phone.  That is all.

- When I get nervous, excited, agitated, anxious, I pick.  I pick my face.  My shoulders. My back. My chest.  Like zits.  Or the minute beginnings of blemishes.  Small bumps that would probably never become anything, without the scratching, picking, squeezing.  It's SO. DISGUSTING.  I totally hate that I do this.  I can't stop, though.  I'm very very very ashamed of this.

- My ex still thinks I'm a fragile little thang.  I think this is laughable.  I'm not sure if I was ever actually fragile, or if that was just his idea of me.  Or if he projected that on me, and I became that. Or if I was that, he lived it, and still believes it.  Neither here, nor there at this point.  But I realize he still feels this way because, the other night, we were talking and I was like, "you say you want to be friends, but then when I make small talk with you, you look as if I'm stabbing you in the eyes with an ice pick."  (I mean, come on, don't say you want something if you don't.  Just be straight.  If you want to be vengeful, hating, exes, fine...just as long as it's consistent.)  He said - get this: "I want to be friendly, but I don't want you to get the wrong idea."  Hahahahahahahahaha!  As if!  I replied, "Hm.  Well.  I don't mean to offend, but don't flatter yourself.  I am SO. Over. It. I'm so over it, I can't believe I was ever under it."  Yeah, it felt a little bitchy, but oh well!  Come on!  Do I seem so weak?  Maybe I really am a tough girl.

- I understand I've made crappy choices in my life.  Lots of people do.  If I had it all to do over again, I'd certainly do it differently.  If I knew then what I know now, I'd make drastically different decisions.  I know now a bit more what I'm like.  What my personality can handle. That said, I've made my choices.  I'm just making the best of the results.  I'm trying to incorporate my personality into the reality that is my life.  I'm sure that's as clear as mud.  I can't really go into detail here.  I'm trying to do the best I can for all involved, but I'm not going to ignore me, or what I need to thrive.  This might make more sense in the future.

- I like to keep my nails really short.  For one thing, I find that I'm able to pick less (or less intensely, anyway) with stubby nails.  For another, it's just easier for me.  Less dirt and makeup under the nails.  Gross.  But, I'm getting a manicure Saturday.  Not so much because I care about my fingernails, but because my hands and cuticles are a scary mess.  So, I'm trying to resist trimming my nails so the manicurist person has something to work with.  It's driving me nuts.

- I have this problem.  I like to sit "indian style" on the couch, with my laptop in my lap.  It's comfortable for me.  Until my legs/feet fall asleep, that is.  But for whatever effed-up reason, I get all stupid-stubborn and refuse to move from my formerly comfortable position to get some relief/blood flowing back into my limbs.  So, the numbness/pain just worsens.  I am a sick freak.

- I am so incredibly, unbelievably freaking ready get back into the workforce.  Hire me, plz?  I'll do anything.  I'll be the best fucking secretary you'll ever have, if that's what it takes.  I'd really prefer something a little more challenging, but I will start over anywhere.  Okay?  Okay.  Call me. Email me.  I look good in business attire.  And business casual.  And I'm cute in jeans, too.  Whatever.  Call me.